Top hobbit is not happy tonight.
Telling the top hobbit that it's time for bed tends to do that to him.
He has never been a fan of going to bed, clearly a night owl, however there comes a point that whether he accepts it or not he is still my little hobbit and he needs his sleep.
It's a difficult balance to be honest. Being older he understands more about mummy and daddy no longer living together, and he has found it harder than any of them to adjust to the change.
Consequently when the mini hobbits go to bed, he naturally wants to stay with me, keep me company, cuddle on the sofa and as tempting as hobbit cuddles are, he needs to get some beauty sleep like everyone else.
Being a new single mum I find it hard to argue with him about it as he normally produces the "but I miss daddy" card whenever he is reprimanded or god forbid told No, he can't play Skylanders until three in the morning.
This evening wasn't much different.
I try to do everything that the books say and give him the countdown; tell him what is happening and when - but no matter what I do it nearly always ends up in me losing my rag after he has had hysterics.
Once again tonight there are tears before bedtime.
I can not take away the fact that he misses Daddy, so I acknowledge it. We talk it through and talk through all the wonderful things he is going to do when he goes to Spain next week.
I also acknowledge the fact that Daddy also wouldn't like him being naughty about bedtimes and top hobbit agrees with me. Sniffling into my armpit.
It is very exhausting having the same conversation most nights, but from my very tired perspective, the best thing I can do with any of my hobbits to help them through this incredibly difficult time is lots of love and patience and hope that this sees us through.
We always talk about Daddy in a positive way. I encourage them to do drawings for him and keep him involved and alive in their day; even though there may be occasions inside when I am seething mad at something he may have said or done, that is not their business to know. They need to know that their daddy loves them and as the main parent in their life it is important that I tell them that everyday.
I have no control over what is said about me on the other side of the fence. But as long as I try and do the best for my hobbits, (I can't promise I won't fail at all,) then hopefully they will grow up to understand and be confident young men when the time comes.
And happy.
That is my new amendment to my life list - that no matter what they choose to do in life, that the hobbits grow up to be happy.
One of the most important ones, I think you would agree.
3 comments:
What a wonderful single Mummy you are, and the Hobbits will know this at time goes by. Being once a single parent myself, it isnt easy keeping calm, but I too always kept my feeling of the ex to myself and tried to keep him alive and active to the children although he never was around. You are a great mum, and time will show the hobbits that you are and have done your best and always will have their intrests at heart. Tomorrow is another day and soon they will see their dad, and lets hope he treats the boys the same way that you do and doesnt bring petty things into their lives which they dont need..xxx lots of love..xxx
What an absolutely wonderful thing to say - thank you Maxine. You never know if you are doing things exactly how they should be done, but if my main focus is them, then I am hoping that I can't go too far wrong.
You are doing the right thing! The hobbit bros may not realise this until years later, but they will be un-wartped by your aproach. Whatever is said in Iberia isn't the issue. Your family is, and you are doing fantastically. Keep going, lovely WW, xxx
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