He is a very good friend and needed a bit of cheering up after recent events at work, so I suggested that we meet up and maybe go for something to eat.
There is a little restaurant in a hotel just nearby, of which I suggested we went.
Now it's important for you to know that he reads my blog, so when I suggested the hotel he looked at me rather oddly... "Erm," he managed, "They don't rent rooms by the hour or anything do they?"
"No," I say and sigh, "you can rest easy. However if you are worried we can just go for a coffee and a muffin."
The look appeared again...god is everything a euphemism for a shag?
Finally we agreed on the little hotel and I left him to order some food while I nipped to the ladies.
It was a very long walk to the ladies, but wow, when I arrived it was so worth it. I just have to tell you that they had the most amazing toilets. As you go in, the lights come on like you are in a spotlight and loud music comes blaring on.
I felt like I was a superstar...you almost jive across to the toilet and it's really difficult to aim straight when your bum is wiggling on the seat to a bit of Janet Jackson.
This has no genuine purpose to the story but I just had to tell you how excited I was by these services...can you tell I don't get out much?
Anyway, my friend and I started to talk about my blog, and he started to regale me with stories of when he was single and how fondly he remembers that life.
He seems like a man of the world, so it was nice to ask some serious questions on which has become my new quest about...relationships et al.
He confessed to me that he has worn a thong...and now has a complete new respect for all women.
Has done more than his fair share of girls in each port.
When his wife and he separated, she decided to leap a fence and try something new with her girlfriend, and he is as nonplussed about this as I am about having toast for breakfast.
He completely understood my thirst for knowledge and was only too happy to enlighten me...and it was a very enlightening conversation.
In fact it was nice to spend an evening with a male friend who just told me what I wanted to know, without any concerns of worrying about it being a possible love interest.
Nothing was off limits; and, it turns out he thinks my knowledge base is ok. I have passed the assessment and will be able to practice the physical some time in the future.
It was a really nice evening and we didn't manage to scare too many people who were eavesdropping on our conversation; (although we did manage to startle two old ladies at the traffic lights when for some reason I mentioned the word anal in a loud voice.)
I can assure you that we did discuss other things, it wasn't purely carnal knowledge...but there is a part of me that is beginning to think I have lived in a small village for the last ten years. Perhaps a reminder to the younger ones, to just get out there and test the water before you settle down.
I want to reassure people that my new life isn't about looking at every page in the Kama Sutra, but at looking at all things anew.
He mentioned to me that I look more positive, not that I was negative before, but that something has changed in me. He is right. I am not nervous about trying new things, I am willing to look at things differently and I am more excited about my future with the hobbits then I have ever been.
If my friend is reading this, then I would like to tell you that I really enjoyed your company this evening, you are a great friend.
Oh, and thanks for sorting out my printer...not, I hasten to add a euphemism.
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