Doing what it says on the tin...

A package arrived today.

I am tempted to leave it that and just say goodnight, however I am reliably informed that followers of my blog would love to know more. So, at the risk of my friends seeing me in a new light - here goes...

Arriving home from work with the hobbits in tow, we discover that the postman has left a note to say there is a parcel waiting for us at the depot. The hobbits were very excited as they have been waiting for their parcel, and begged me to take them to the post office there and then.

We drive at breakneck speed as they were just about to close and as the hobbits became more excited, I was silently praying that it was their parcel and not mine.

Now although the website assures you that the packaging is discreet, it does state on it the company name - and any postie worth his or her salt will have a pretty good idea of what that company represents. I handed over my red ticket and I am convinced that as the postman behind the counter passed me my goods, he winked at me. I shuffled out of the depot in schoolgirl shame.

"Sorry guys," I explain as I get in the car, "It's not your parcel it's mine."
The car fills up with a chorus of "Ohhhhhhh's" Followed by a great deal of sulking.
"But why do you get a toy, and we don't?" Enquires Batman
"It's not a toy it's work." I cough.
"What work?" Asks Spiderman
"...erm, research." I silently mutter keeping my eyes firmly on the road.

It takes some convincing but eventually we get home with some grumpy hobbits and a nervous mum and I take it straight around to my friends house and throw the package on her table as if it's too hot to touch...(hope that's not a design fault.)

She looks at me and we have a brief silent exchange that says we need to open this together. After making strong coffee and shooing the kids out of the room I tentatively open the package and find a very smart box. The mum in me reminds myself to save it in case I ever need a box this size to wrap a Christmas present, when almost as quickly the single woman in me reminds me of what is on the actual cover.
Hmm, yes, can you imagine someone's disappointment?

Anyway, getting back to the matter in hand - which it now is - we both look at it slightly in awe. It's my favourite colour, which is a good thing, so will go with anything I wear; It has a rather cute face just below it's ears, which is a shade disconcerting but as it's a physical impossibility for me to bend that way it's unlikely that I will ever meet it face to face so to speak.

"Put the batteries in," my friend suggests...and I confess, like a couple of giggly schoolgirls we pop the batteries in and let the ears do the talking.

WOW! This thing has some serious power! Clicking on the relevant buttons it notches it up to almost the same speed as light and I can feel myself going cross eyed trying to keep up with it.

Sticking it on my nose, my friend looks at me incredulously. "What are you doing?"
"I read somewhere that this is a good test" I inform her and offer it to her to give a go.
Strangely she refuses...

So, what now?
Do I book a date night?
Do I prepare for a night of solitude with my new friend?
Dress seductively in something comfortable, spray on some perfume and turn the lights down low?

Thankfully, followers of my blog will never know. Unless of course I electrocute myself and the power goes out in the town I live in, you can all live in permanent ignorance. (However, please don't blame me for any future power cuts!)

For now - it goes in the drawer, where I may take a peek on occasion and slowly build up courage to actually get it to do what it says on the tin!