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Tuesday 24 July 2012

The year of Steve...

I have discovered a new dating site.

It was recommended to me by a friend in the know about these things and seems to be one with people who actually act when looking at my profile...so not such an ugly old bag after all!

The only trouble is that they are for some reason, all called Steve...

Now I am sure that is not really the case and is just my luck. Or maybe it is that some men feel that Steve is a good pseudonym for online dating, as there does seem to be an abundance of them out there.

I have had five different Steve's in the last 24 hours all message me which startled me, however I was also quite relieved not to get a message or a wink from Norbert....really? What was his mother thinking?

Maybe there was a year of Steve being the most popular name. A baby boom of Steve's...what would you call a collection of Steve's? A gaggle? Alas I digress....

However for me it does make for a very confusing evening...whilst I wistfully look at possible messages or email notifications that Steve has been in touch.

So is that a new message from Steve, or another message from a new Steve, and which Steve is winking at me?

At least if I ever get to be in throes of passion with a Steve, then I won't get the name wrong.

Unfortunately I also haven't quite managed to get the social etiquette balance quite right either when replying to said Steve's.

How do you get over the initial hurdle of; so what do you do for a living or, how do you spend your free time without it sounding like you are the most boring person in the world, or sounding like Joey from Friends?

I seem to have scared most of the Steve's off by the time the evening has drawn to a close, either through my incredible wit and intelligence (ahem, or lack of it) or by simply being a boring old cow.

I am quite unsure of how to pitch my...errr...pitch.

Should I be fun and flirty?
Should I be a wistful, Jane Eyre type...considering my long walk over rainy hills, whilst writing poetry on a slate?
Or should I be a little bit more serious, looking for a deep and meaningful relationship with a man who does DIY?

God this feels like hard work.

What I have also noticed about all my Steve's, is that they think it's ok to ask for your number, where you live, or sign off with a kiss quite early on... I am not quite ready to give out that information, and you wouldn't do that it normal life.

When meeting someone for the first time you wouldn't say;
"So? Come here often, kiss kiss?"
"Actually, no, not really."
"Well, it's a nice pub, can I have your email, kiss kiss?"
"Huh?"
No, you are more likely to go running for the hills than pass over such private information, so why is it ok to ask or say that in a message?

In the dating world this seems like an appropriate thing to ask someone...nevertheless the good news is that there is one Steve, who is attractive, hasn't asked for my email or inside leg measurement yet, or god forbid signed off his message with a kiss...so perhaps he has potential.

In the meantime, I will keep searching in the vain hope that the real Steve might stand up.

3 comments:

biker said...

how about a stalk of Steves.
this is inspired by the 15 th century term for foresters

Anonymous said...

Hi Babe
can we meet up, what do you do?
whats your inside leg measurement,

love you

Steve

Wonder(ing) Woman said...

Whoever anon is - that made me laugh out loud! Brilliant!