Awkward silences...

I have a friend who is the life and soul of the party.

She loves chatting to people....when there is a group. However when it comes to one to one, mainly with the opposite sex...her nerves get the better of her.

She finds it...well...awkward.

"I just find I have nothing to say, I don't know what to say when I start a conversation."
"But isn't that normal?" I suggest to her.
"Well, you always know what to say...look at the workmen yesterday?"

Ahh, the workmen yesterday. We watched from my bedroom window...dirty men, in holes doing men stuff...it kept us amused for at least ten minutes.

I even bribed them with cups of tea and biscuits so that they would wolf whistle Pootle when she got home later that day.

"But that is just banter...anyone can do that." I reassure her, "But if you meet someone who you feel attracted to, you get tongue tied. I also get the feeling that what I have to say isn't of interest to them, that I am boring the pants off them...and asking them about their day and feeling comfortable with day to day conversation comes in time."
She sighs, "If only I could get over that feeling of awkwardness...then perhaps, I could actually start dating someone properly."

Hmmm....I mention this to another friend today, and we have set our friend a challenge. We have set her up on a date, with another couple so that she doesn't feel too threatened. Within this date she has to come back with five clear facts about the guy she is paired with....and she can not drink while she is out.

It is a tough challenge for her...call it therapy, a slow introduction to getting back out there.

I am not allowed to go as it is entirely possible she will talk to me all night instead...so I am on babysitting duties, while she goes out and faces her demons.

So remember babe, awkward silences are normal in the beginning...it is part of the process. Yes, there should be banter and a sense of humour...but until you really get to know each other, it is ok to be unsure of what to say.

Go forth...and chat!!!