Times are a changing...

An excellent night of Poker and similar games was had last night. I am definitely enjoying being part of the 'dad' group, and I feel that I am finally beginning to hold my own in the game.

I also like the fact that there are no demands made from these guys; apart from laying or raising my bet. It is very chilled and the conversation is easy...

In fact someone reminded me yesterday that that really is how friendships and relationships should be. Of course there are occasions that as a friend you will need to support another, or even give an opinion that someone won't like; but essentially the relationship should be easy. Not demanding; not like trying to navigate your way through treacle and certainly not so emotionally draining that you have no energy to do the rest of the things that you love.

Easy. Like a Sunday morning.

There is also something about the joy of being single and I have given this a great deal of thought this week.
I actually like being single.
I like the fact that I make the rules; I see who I want to see and when; I don't have to answer to anyone else except my hobbits and my conscience; I make all the decisions.

How empowering is that?
I don't want to give that up...not yet and I don't want to give that up for anything less than easy. By making a commitment to a partner I would have to start considering someone else in the equation; and while I am more than capable of doing that and would even consider that I am someone who is quite generous with their time and friendship, choosing to have someone in my life on a permanent basis would mean giving up a large element of my independence.

I have realised that I am not ready for that and someone who walks in to my life would have to be pretty damn special in order for me to do that.

Like a Thunderbolt; but an easy one.

So it appears that I am veering off the path of looking for that one and I am genuinely looking forward to a different journey. I have come to a crossroads and would actually like to take the path of being single; having fun; going on dates without any commitment and being totally independent.

The times they are a changing...and I am happier about that far more than I realised I would be.