Health and Safety...

What a great evening to write...the air is warm, hobbits are fast asleep - exhausted from playing baseball at the park, the radio is on and there is peace and quiet in the garden...

In fact it is so quiet out here that you can almost hear the squeals of the slugs as I kill them...disgusting little things...sorry, I never maintained I was nice.

I have tried many methods in my mission to cull all things that are slimy (apart from worms...worms are cool in the slimy world), or caterpillars because they end up as butterflies, or even snails - I just throw them over next doors fence...so essentially just slugs; clearly all things was just a slight over exaggeration.

I have used beer (cheap beer mind); however in my house my slugs seem to like cheap beer, and seem to call their friends over for parties. I find them all gathering at the beer watering hole with their new slug outfits on, chatting over a slurp or two or sidling up to the pretty slug propping up the bowl...so much for intoxicating them until their dead.

Then there is salt.
However I had an influx of slugs last year and salt isn't cheap you know. The hobbits got so used to me popping out into the garden of an early evening with my table salt, that they would often just go in and get the Father Christmas salt pot themselves and scatter the tiny white granules on their victim and watch it melt before their eyes.

Nevertheless that is really not a nice way to die...even for a slug.  So I now just slice them in half with a trowel. Simple and quick.

Then toss them over to next doors garden...

I am not entirely sure why I am confessing this murderous streak to you all this evening. I suppose I am just in a cleansing and refreshing kind of mood. My recent birthday has brought about the urge to start some new things...

In fact Pootle and I have decided to take up running.
I will pause for those who now need to get a tea towel to wipe up the tea they just spat out in shock all over their keyboards.

Finished laughing? Ok, I shall continue. We have decided to enter the half marathon next year. Thirteen miles...that is a lot for an unfit, old bird like me.

Pootle decided first to give herself a challenge and knowing how I am for the most part up for a challenge too, mentioned it to me. So we need to get fitter...oh, ok, we need to get fit.

"So," she says while eating her Weightwatchers fruit crumble bar, "when are we going running?"
She flicks through her diary looking at her prior engagements...
I am playing with my mobile 'phone that seems to have had a melt down since travelling across the atlantic ocean. "We could take the boys to the park tomorrow evening?" I suggest, "Let them play while we run?"
"Sounds good to me. You know it is a shame we don't have a long range baby monitor. We could go running once the kids are asleep, and the other person could listen out for them."
Pootle and I live within spitting distance of each other.
"Hmm, trouble is what about fire? You'd hear them call out if they were having a bad dream, but you wouldn't hear a fire."
"But you would a fire alarm."
"Not mine, it's broken."
She looks at me and scoldingly says my full name, "Why is it broken?"
I shrug, "I don't know, it has been on my list of things to do. To get a new one that is."
She scolds again, "Make sure you do."
"Yes Mum." Going back to cursing my mobile 'phone.

"You know you can get a Fireman in to fix it for you." She says quietly.
Suddenly the issue with my 'phone is no longer important, and I raise my eyes to look at her, "How?"
"There is a scheme that helps single parents or something or other, and you can call them and they will send a Fireman round to your house and fix it for you."
"Really?"
"Yep."
"Can you put in a request for a single one?"
"Or a hot one?" She says..."Worth a try."

So I have Googled this excellent community service this evening and she is right. In fact it is fitted by operational firefighters, and the information informs me that I shouldn't be surprised if an engine turns up at my door for them to complete their home safety check....

God, wouldn't that be terrible...I would have to make sure I have enough tea and biscuits for an entire crew. In fact being a single parent, I may well qualify for free smoke alarms, which they will fit for me and then talk to me about fire safety in my home...isn't that nice of them?

So in the interests of re-organising myself and setting myself challenges, I shall contact my local Fire Department tomorrow to see if they can help me.

It is, after all a Health and Safety issue...