Anticipating the positive...

I have just been chatting to A.

My A is one of the kindest men I know and I told him so. I could almost feel the blushes through the instant messaging, and he just simply batted off the compliment.

Why do we do that? What stops us from accepting a compliment in the form that it was meant?

Eventually he said Thank you - but I could tell he didn't really believe what I was saying. I wouldn't have believed him had he said it the other way.

Is this a good or a bad thing?
I am trying to get my head around the fact that we find it so hard to believe people, even people that we trust implicitly. Is it because our own self doubt effectively trumps a compliment? The negative outweighs the positive...

On the other hand, is it what keeps us on our toes as it were? If we were the type of person who accepted and believed every compliment that came our way, would that change who we are? Would we become so self obsessed that we would neglect to question our behaviour at times?

If questioning our behaviour to others and ourselves is a good thing, (which I believe it is) and helps us see the occasions when we were wrong or inappropriate then surely on the flip side accepting a well made, truthful compliment is also a good thing?

I would be really interested in how people see this, and indeed how they go about accepting something nice said by another.

Is it because we don't want to fail? Let people down? Believe in ourselves and our abilities? Why would we refuse to believe something positive, but happily accept something negative?

I have another friend, E - she sent me a picture recently of a cow. She said that every time I doubted myself I was to look at this picture and think, 'I am being a silly cow." Perhaps I should post it on here, so that if anyone else feels the same they can chant the same Mantra.

The impact of a compliment should have a much higher meaning than a criticism. I am not suggesting that a criticism shouldn't be paid attention to; there is normally a reason for it and anything that helps us be better people should be noted. Nevertheless, for that reason - a compliment should also be happily accepted...it means we are on the right track; and if someone sees that quality in something you do, or how you are, then you are already nearly there.

Too rose tinted? Sheesh really? :-)

Well, maybe it is - but that would be me anticipating the negativity - so today, I am anticipating the positive and accepting it.