Mother Tiger...

Something terrible has happened.

As I was tucking my eldest hobbit into bed this evening he uttered the immortal words, "Mummy, I love a girl at school."

He had this big smile on his face as he was clearly so pleased that he had finally come to this decision after much emotional angst, and of course I gave him a big hug and told him I was pleased for him.

It was the conversation afterwards that has left me in a tizz. He then told me that she smiled at him at a party, but there was another boy that was want of her affections. Mother tiger on alert. Poised to strike down any potential competition lying in wait.

Then he wasn't completely sure if she liked him more and perhaps she liked the other boy more, so what could he do?
Rats.
I am not ready for this. I am not prepared to have this conversation with my baby. What resulted was a conversation that suggested it is ok to like girls, it is ok to smile back at them, it is ok to be friends with them - but sometimes they like other boys too.

I wanted to protect him. I wanted to pre-empt any anguish he may uncover if he finds out that this girl is not making eyes at him only.

Then I had this vision of years to come and quite frankly I don't like it. I want to keep him at home, surrounded by only mother love and wrapped up in a cocktail of strawberry laces, duvets and Disney films...I don't want any of them to grow up and be hurt.

I know that isn't practical. I don't want my son turning into the next Norman Bates with only a love for his mother, but I suddenly had that dreaded feeling - the realisation that they will grow into young men who will get hurt; because quite frankly they are a soppy bunch of boys who will fall in love easily.

Therefore there is nothing else for it. I will home school them and keep them away from the community at large until they are 35. That should help a bit surely?

The dark side...

Ok - I have done it. I have gone to the dark side...

I know I said I would never.
I know I promised that I simply couldn't.
I know that I suggested that it just wasn't me...but yeah, I kind of forgot about that when I saw it.

In my desire to become more organised in my hectic, plate spinning, ball juggling life - I have answered Apple's call and embraced the new iPhone C.

I confess - I love it...it is very sleek, sexy and smooth.
Does that make me a bad person? Are you ashamed of me? Does that make me...dirty?

It has already transformed my life - it talks to my Mac and it talks to my iPad - now if I can just get it to talk to the hobbits, pop the dinner on and put the cleaner around the house while I am out, my life will be complete. If Apple made cars or washing machines, think what heaven we would be living in?

In fact I was so super organised today, that I took clothes into the school for Spiderman's school production a week early...ok, admittedly I took the wrong colour in, but my little icon on my calendar told me that was my job for the day today and I did it. I was so hashtag proud of my new organisational skills...

I have added birthdays', parties invites for hobbits, anniversaries, school dates, important poker nights , etc, etc - in fact I actually don't know how I managed before with a simple handwritten diary!

The last few weeks have been a bit messy, so this has made me feel that for once - I might actually be able to truly organise Wonder Woman and her hobbits - I am invincible, I am amaze balls, I know exactly what I am doing and when...

...well, at least until the battery runs down anyway.

The sad truth...

I had the misfortune to visit an elderly relative in hospital this evening.

Not just because he has broken his hip and is suffering from a chest infection, but alas because of the lack of nursing empathy I witnessed first hand today.

I am a big supporter of the NHS. I love the fact that we have free health care and for the most part, amazing staff who help us in so many ways; in an emergency; with our concerns over our children; GP support etc etc - however sometimes, just sometimes, there are shit nurses who do crappy jobs.

My elderly relative is tired of trying to excuse their non-responsive behaviour, lack of compassion and general ignorance of his condition. He is actually becoming more unwell by their attitude and lack of caring, to the point that I fear he may lose the will to continue living.

He is talked over whenever he does actually get someone to answer his bell call. His opinion and knowledge on his own long standing condition of diabetes is ignored and dismissed, even though he has been managing his diabetes for over 50 years; and today I actually witnessed a Staff Nurse call him a 'muppet' whilst he tried to explain how he felt about something.

They have taken everything away from him. His independence, his ability to talk coherently and converse...he has even been waiting for five days for his personal effects to be transferred from the previous hospital he was at, so they have managed to leave him without any dignity either. Just consider what an 80 year old's man personal effects may be.

Being a patient in hospital is not something any of us would choose to do. None of us want to be in an environment where we are effectively bed bound, or living with five other strangers on a permanent basis so why do some nurses behave as though we are an inconvenience? Why is it necessary to mistreat and dismiss the simple basic human requirement of company, conversation and compassion?

Once again - I know this story is not something we witness on a daily basis. I am aware that there are some amazing nurses out there, who really do make it their vocation in life. Alas, there are also others who really, quite honestly, couldn't give a shit. It is those who are dangerous in my mind. Through their actions, people that we love are being bullied and being made to feel even more vulnerable than they already feel.

Now while I, and my family, are able to complain and fight on his behalf - get annoyed, check drugs charts, blood sugar levels etc, unfortunately we can not be there all the time, and the time that he is alone is exactly what I am worried about. As why go on living when you feel completely worthless...which makes that, the sad truth.