How to...

...procrastinate about writing a book...


1) Open computer and attempt to stare at the book in a reasonably intelligent and positive way, that suggests you know what you are doing...i.e. blag.

2) Write down the idea that has been swilling around in your head for the past few days in a random chapter...You have no idea where to put it, but it sounds good - for now.

3) Go back to the first chapter and plead with it to tell you which first chapter version is better...you then realise that perhaps a combination of all three of the current versions could potentially be better and therefore there is now a fourth option.

4) Put Billy Ocean, Red Light Spells Danger on and dance around the kitchen like a woman possessed pretending you're an extra in a Hollywood Blockbuster about single women...

5) Agree with oneself that you need to go back to old fashioned methods for inspiration and rush out to buy really nice writing paper...get home, don't want to deface really nice lined writing paper and just look at it.

6) Make pot noodle and pretend to look through chapters in a effort to remain optimistic about the fact that you have written 'a book'.

7) Search deep within your soul for inspiration and find only an urge for a chocolate digestive...

8) Take a break and check out Facebook...repeat this throughout.

9) Write blog about procrastinating, in order to justify said procrastination...

10) Realise the time wasted today and go pick up kids from school...