Decluttering...

I am currently going through a spate of de-cluttering.

Emptying wardrobe contents, rifling through full boxes of old photos and reaching into the depths of cupboards with a shaky hand and a nervous twitch, slightly alarmed at what I might find.

It is an interesting process, de-cluttering. A cleansing and decision making process.

The hobbits and I are moving house soon and naturally are quite excited by the changes ahead. However the mere act of decluttering has seen me acknowledge the past as well as the future.

It is an inevitable thing. Take a box of photos that contain the last twenty odd years of your life, and you can't help but reminisce, shed a tear of joy or sadness, and laugh at old outfits that were worn in 1989.

This paraphernalia, including old pieces of furniture and even old clothes show a timeline of events that happened in your life and remind you of decisions and paths that you took...some for the good, some for the not so good.

Many of my big decision making moments over the years have been emotionally fraught, painful, refreshing and above all, scary...they would have kept me awake all night most probably, and I would have in no doubt, drowned my friends in my angst and fear whilst thinking through some of these decisions.

However, once the decision had been made, I was, and am, essentially on my own; bumbling my way through my resolution in an attempt to see it through to the best of my ability and to a successful conclusion. Alas, we know decisions don't always work out like that...not every choice we make comes out the way we intended.

I have made other decisions this past month that have been tinged with a hint of fear for the future; moving house; being strong in the face of adversity and letting go of something that could have potentially been special. I did all of these with a different emotion attached; a spring in my step, a gulp in my throat and a heaviness in my heart - but all with the same profound base; the care and health of my family and myself.

Are they the right ones? Well, only time will tell. However, I do have the benefit of past behaviour and all the best psychologists will say that this is always the best way to predict the future. Ergo, we have managed it this far on my decision making abilities without too much of a scathing, that hopefully, the best is yet to come.