Foot thumping...

Our family pet rabbit is miffed.

Notice how I was very clear to say 'family pet rabbit' - I wouldn't want to give anyone any ideas of any other particular type of rabbit that may be a little annoyed and the connotations of that...

So anyway, annoyed rabbit...pissed off...aggrieved...restless little bunny.

The reason for his dismay is that I purchased today a new hutch for Mr Easter. Over the past year, Mr Easter has slowly but surely chewed his way through his old hutch which consequently left him with more than a draft around his nether regions.

You would think that having a new home would make him happy and delirious with the new opportunity to chew something else for a change and with new hutch walls to hang up his latest pornographic picture of Jessica Rabbit.

Alas, that does not seem to be the case.

He has thumped his foot in annoyance and made his feelings very clear.

"He is glaring at me," Pootle remarked this evening over a cuppa. "He is looking at me, disgusted with this change."
"I don't know why, it is a nicer hutch."
"Hmm...I'm not too sure," she laments still maintaining eye contact with Mr Easter, "after all, he had a two storey pent house before, now he just has a lower floor bedsit."

We both watch Mr Easter as he tests the new cage like the dinosaurs did in Jurassic Park - looking for the weakest link in his prison.

It is true - the new hutch is not the same. With the previous one he did have a bedroom upstairs, space to dance and a room for poo downstairs - it was a much grander hutch - however his old hutch has for a long time been held together with random pieces of wood, and sadly now that winter is drawing closer just won't do.

Isn't it typical however, that now that he has lost his larger house that he is indignant? If only he had realised earlier that had he cared for his old hutch, swept it occasionally, stopped chewing through the beams that it would have lasted so much longer?

A reminder, if we ever needed one, that we don't truly appreciate the things we love and care for until they have gone...and unfortunately for Mr Easter, no amount of foot thumping is ever going to change that.

Growing old disgracefully...

Clothes shopping.

It's a f**king conspiracy man, I tell ya.

I feel like I am being forced into middle age clothes now that I am - you know - above the forty line. There are clothes stores for those just below, and those for 50+ but what happened to decent clothes for those who can no longer get away with that teenage look, but are not quite ready to embrace the tweed, pearls or cake hats?

Looking in a well known store today, the best thing I found was a pair of boots - the rest, well, the rest was just too young. It looked like I was trying to be something that I am not.

However whilst I don't mind not being a teenager anymore, I do resent being pushed into a store that produces matching skirts and jacket, with an accompanying flowery blouse...I don't know about you, but I don't want to wear ' a blouse'.

Is this what women have to look forward to? Wool knits, weak bladders and pregnancy horse pee tablets? (Yes, that is what HRT really is I have been reliably informed)

Well, to hell with it. I am making a stand and I refuse to stop wearing my DM's just because it isn't cricket for a 40 year old to do that. If I want to wear tartan, leather or dye my hair pink then I bloody well will. I many not quite embrace my youth, but I am also not ready to be written off quite yet...

I can see it now, come the revolution sister, a sea of middle aged women marching down the street with smiles on their faces, standing against the wall in our FMB's, waving our six inch bra straps and tena slips shouting, "...because we want to!"

Don't let anyone force you into the mould of conformity, come with me and let's grow old disgracefully...

The pursuit of happiness...

Things have been rather hectic for the crew and I these last few weeks, consequently the blog has been on the back burner even more than usual.

I apologise for this, however sometimes that family commitment must come first and my little family have needed my attention more than ever recently.

We have had lots of changes, but one of the biggest and most noticeable ones are the changes in the three hobbits themselves. They are growing up super fast, so fast that that I am running out of pencil lineage on the kitchen wall.

You know, I am sure I have mentioned this before...but it is pretty damn tough being a parent. Most of it is guess work and bribery, and for those actions I am winning by a mile - however what I am not winning is the parent race itself.

It is true that if we didn't question our motives or behaviour, and always assumed that we were right, then by definition we would make bad parents, but constantly questioning and checking our skills is exhausting. Am I the only one terrified that I am already setting up at least one son for a lifetime of counselling and therapy due to my mistakes or inadequacies?

If I treat them then they expect more than I can give, which is wrong; if I tell them off then I am the worst mother ever; if I refuse then they play the 'I want to go live with daddy card'... It is very hard to know what am I currently getting right.

Blaming everything on hormones seems too much like the easy option.

Oh I apologise for the woe is me blog, because actually we do have so many things to look forward to  in the coming months. However sometimes, trying to keep everyone happy and maintaining that happiness is an endless, thankless task...The pursuit of Happiness...it was never this hard for Will Smith...

The new us...

You may have noticed on my Facebook page and now on the blog that I have a wonderful piece of customised artwork that represents the hobbits and I...

My wonderful friend Jacqui has captured the boys so perfectly in their relevant superhero shirts, and drawn me so incredibly well and kindly that I am considering having the picture blown up to replace the real me.

I just wanted to say a very BIG thank you to you Jacqui and of course promote her Etsy page - she is an excellent artist and you can look at her work by following this link... Jacqui Clark ART

Her work is unique and beautiful, and I am very happy to recommend her...please take a look.

The 5 things I hate to do...

Now whilst I love the fact that I am totally independent, there are always going to be things that I groan about having to do alone.

I know that they have to be done and that there is no escaping them, yet they always fill me with dread. They bother me more than I can say.

I am sure that I am not the only one who procrastinates about 'those jobs' around the house; like fixing broken bedroom curtain poles or wobbly chairs, however there are just some jobs in my life that irritate me beyond belief and I will do anything to put them off...

1) Fixing bikes - really? Your tyres need pumping, your brakes are loose and your seat needs replacing? That wasn't in the small print when I signed the form to commit to a house full of boys... where the heck is Grandpa when I need him?

2) Filling the car up with petrol. I surely can't be the only one who hates this job? My car fuel light flashes at me angrily -
      'Feed me! Feed me now!'
      'Oh sod off, surely you have a few more miles left in you?'
      'Nope,' cough, cough splutter, 'Need food - must be fresh!'
It isn't even the paying for petrol that bothers me, it is the whole arse about pulling into a petrol station, blah blah bollocks... it is laziness I know, but also time - I always get in the car to go somewhere, I don't want the inconvenience of having to pull into somewhere, I have places I need to be...
Therefore I feel we need drive through petrol stations or even better, something that Air Force One has when in flight. I could be driving down the motorway when a big tanker pulls up alongside and just tops me up. Sorted!

3) Mowing the lawn. The long grass in my garden taunts me every two weeks. Every two weeks, seriously? My bloody hair doesn't need cutting that often, although it might do if I stood in the rain and sun more frequently. My lawn looks like wild unkempt hair and waves at me,
    'Oy, you...stop for a moment and look at my long tresses of unkempt blades of grass...don't I look messy again?'
    'I only mowed you last week, you bugger - you need more attention than a newborn!'
    'Oh and look, those weeds you dug out last week? They're back too - look!'
To make it worse, my neighbour is obsessed with cutting his lawn - which only seems to make mine gloat even more...

4) Fending off imaginary would be intruders. Unsurprisingly, this a) doesn't happen very often, and b) I truly hate doing this on my own. Doors slamming in the night from the wind can see me sitting in the dark with my heart pounding, clutching my baseball bat ready and mobile, with finger poised over 999 waiting for a potential intruder who may walk in... which of course they never do. However just the potential thought of it makes me feel vulnerable... and unnecessarily angry.

Last but not least, number 5)
 Seeing my children leave at the airport for their summer holiday. It is gut wrenching to wave goodbye to them as they leave to spend time with their father. It is the worst thing ever and if I could procrastinate about that - they would never leave my side.

So long and thanks for the salad cream...

I am in love.

It has finally arrived...and it is a beautiful thing.

Oh alright not quite in love but certainly an element of lust. The feelings sneaked up on me a little bit when I wasn't really paying them any notice. Today however, I realise I am in lust with the man who works in the local supermarket.

Don't worry Dad, he is not permanent relationship material, but he is quite cute and is certainly worth popping in to the local supermarket for; to while away the hours while I take a sneaky peek at him through the freshly made (on premises) baguettes and to admire his muscular physique as he replenishes the low milk stocks with ease.

We have spoken on many occasions my supermarket man and I, as he has commented on my excellent choice of fresh fruit, suggested items from the deli and we have even had that relationship seal making debate on the virtues of Salad cream Vs Mayonnaise...

*sigh*

I have come to the very satisfactory conclusion that I absolutely love being single, however there is the odd occasion when one's eye wanders a little bit and a little lustful demon pops up to say hello.

Pootle agrees with me...she has a lustful demon too and watches road workers from the safety line of her injunction limits.
"Just ask him out for a drink," She tells me boldly.
"Oh yes, can you imagine the silence that will ensue after that...'Fancy a drink?' Long pause followed by tumbleweed flowing down the aisle."
"Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't be that brave either."

It is a shame really, that even in these modern times that we feel embarrassed to ask. After all, what harm is there? I would feel flattered if someone asked me, it is nice to feel attractive to someone else...well, unless he was from the Manson Family...regardless of whether you say yes or no.

So alas I will go back to watching, as being so brave as to ask someone for a drink is not in my forte. I will watch him from afar whilst he stocks shelves, rips cardboard boxes with aplomb and hopefully one day we will laugh over Salad Cream again...

The end of an era...

So today the end of an era arrived...

There were no dramatic exits, no traumatic goodbyes or slamming of doors even ... there were however a few tears shed.

My bestie Pootle moved today.
Not just from one side of a room to another, but for now, a whole 3 miles away.
I can no longer run across the road in my onesie after the kids have fallen asleep for a quick G&T. There is no point, from now on, in nipping over whenever I run out of Spaghetti, eggs or ham, (she was my one stop Londis), and no longer will I arrive after a busy day at work, see her car and pop into her house for the pair of us to de-stress over a cuppa and a Rich Tea biscuit.

She has, rightly so, upped sticks and changed location. Having bought a new house and decided on that next adventure in her life. She will soon be within walking distance again...but never as close as we have been for the last three years.

I wish my beloved bestie a wonderful new life in her new home when it is ready. A change is as good as a rest they say, and I firmly believe that she has made the right decision. However allow me to indulge myself here when I say I arrived home this afternoon, and realised completely and fully that she had gone.

I had a good cry...then with a cuddle from a hobbit, felt mildly improved.
You see Pootle and I have already seen each other through so much and we have lived in each other's pockets for the best part of three years. We have shared the strains of raising children alone, the stress of dealing with ex and new relationships, financial worries, fun, motivational speeches, outrageously re-enacted music videos, drunken nights...and laughter....so much laughter. I can honestly say I couldn't have got through the last two and half years without her.

However now it is her turn to do something new; to try out a different path and I couldn't be happier for her. Nothing stays the same, we would stagnate if we did...but what I have realised this evening is how much we have helped each other to develop into the people we are today. We have given each other confidence, and believed that the other person could. Restored some of the faith and un-done some of the damage.

She is my best buddy, my soulmate and my favourite Gin and Tonic maker....rare commodities to find all in one person.

I am her biggest fan.
Good luck Pootle...the sequel is gonna be amazeballs!!!