Little Mr Sunshines...

I have been packing tonight.
The hobbits are off on their summer holidays tomorrow. They are going to stay with their dad for six weeks, and they are going to have an amazing time.
Readers of my blog will probably be aware by now that their father is Spanish and he lives on the mainland now since we separated just over three months now.

I work full time so consequently summer holidays can make childcare either very complicated or very expensive when you are raising hobbits on your own. So it made more sense that they go to stay with their dad, who has his immediate family around to help.

They will love this time with their dad; they will probably get spoilt rotten, they will be loved by lots of extended latino family and learn lots of Spanish by the time they come home in late August.

They are really excited and have been counting down the sleeps until tomorrow arrives.

As for me, I am not so excited, but I don't share that with them.

I am worried that they won't miss me, think of me, want to talk to me when I call them - and the worst fear is that they won't want to come home to their mum.

I can not compete with all the attention that they will receive over there. There are many of them to one of me, and I am internally terrified that they will be happier over there.

My hobbits are my world, and everything I do is achieved with them in mind. I know I am not perfect; sometimes I lose my patience, get exasperated by the tenth request for 'Purple Milk' (strawberry nesquick to the uneducated), feel the effects of tiredness after having a small hobbit foot in my face all night after they have been awoken by a fellow hobbits snoring - but I am going to miss them more than I can say out loud.

They are my babies. I never ever imagined that as young as they are, that they would be away from me for such a long length of time. This is not my choice. I never thought that when their father and I separated that he would choose to return to Spain.

However he did and I have to suck it up and let them go.

So we have prepared lots of things to do on the plane; drawings to give to daddy at the airport and a scrap book so that they can record in it the places they visit.  They will have an amazing time.

But I hope they miss me just enough to want to come home again; because they are my sunshines.