No apologies required...

I have had a little bit of a revelation today.

The revelation came via Facebook, from a friend in a very hot country. She is a very close friend, if not in distance then in emotion and she is intuitive, warm and very kind.

I respect her not just because of who she is and the decisions she makes, but also the way she empowers others to do more than they ever thought they were capable of.

I have seen her in action; I have seen people walk away after having had her support and kindness, and feel more than better about their lives and their future. She is very special and very much one of a kind and I am incredibly lucky that she chooses to have me in her life.

It was she, whilst chatting about life and the universe this morning, that reprimanded me in a way that only she can do.

"I really like your blog", she said, "It's inspiring. But can you do me a favour?"
"Absolutely," I say...wondering what was coming next...signed autographs perhaps for the children...opening a new supermarket with some very large scissors...
"Stop apologising for being you."
"Oh, ok. Sorry". I say

She went on to say that a good friend had said this to her recently and she was passing on the advice. She said we all do it, especially women, but we really shouldn't and it made me think very hard today about how and when I do this.

I have another good friend who I have known for nearly thirty years who would probably agree with my friend in the hot country. I am fairly sure that she also sees that I spend much of my life saying sorry for decisions I make, or the actions that I have taken.

Now don't get me wrong, sometimes I do have to apologise. Sometimes I have hurt people through my actions and I have often made wrong decisions in my life that I haven't thought through effectively.

However what my hot country friend is referring to is the way I apologise for just simply being me.  I can not help who I am, I can not change the way I react to situations - they are often borne through life experiences or childhood dilemmas. I am not as confident as I look and secure in how I behave, hence my rush to say to myself and others, "I have no right to feel that way, no right to believe and no right to be cared for."

We all try to be the best friend, the best mum or dad, the best lover, husband or wife...and I know my imperfections with regards to any of those categories that I fit into. However, the point is that I do try my best...I may not always succeed but who ever does?

I need to continue trying to do my best, and stop apologising for doing it. We all have the right to feel things, the right to believe and the right to be cared for. No one is more important than us, no one has more right to be cared for...we are all equal.

I will keep her advice in the back of mind the next time I go to say 'sorry', just in case I really don't need to be...just in case it's just me saying 'I apologise for being me'.

I am what I am...