A warm and cosy vagina...

After the euphoria of the night before, the morning has brought with it the stark realisation that I am possibly too old for dancing till 3 in the morning...

Not a drop of alcohol passed my lips much to the surprise of friends who saw me dancing sober, however I have never needed alcohol to dance or get high on the enjoyment of the evening, (A...you would be witness to that - do you remember being relieved that I hadn't had any alcohol?) ...I just don't care...but this morning it feels like I attended a drug induced, keg filled frat party last night.

Even the clouds are too bright coming through the windows!

I was rudely awakened by the hobbits this morning at 7, just three hours after I went to sleep...honestly, don't they know that mummy is trying to find her mojo again? They left me to lie in bed and with the babysitter still asleep on the sofa they played together.

However when my body decided to move because the urge for the toilet was too overwhelming, the babysitter called up the stairs to say he was gonna be late for his next job.

Quick mad panic...everyone threw on coats over their pj's (apart from myself, I did actually dress) and ran to the car. We must have looked a right chavtastic state...perhaps I do live in the right town after all?

Babysitter deposited home, and with bacon, Sunday newspaper and French stick purchased, the hobbits and I have just treated ourselves to some serious bacon sarnies...while I remember the oddities of last night.

I have to say the best moment may have been B, walking to the nightclub, shivering from the cold and wet...pi**ed as a fart, holding onto my arm.
"Why are we here?" She slurred..."We should be at home in the warm."
"Come on...we can do this. We can get down with the kids, we are not that old." I encouraged.
She groaned, "We should be at home, tucked up in our vaginas."
"Our vaginas?"
"Yes, with the heating on...all snuggled up and cosy."
"Yes babe, but our vaginas? Did you mean our pj's?"
She stopped in the street and looked at me with a drunk quizzical look...
"Same difference," she concluded with a satisfied face. "They are both cosy and warm."

Well I could hardly argue with her about that, alas I think the hobbits and I will stay in our pj's and duvets today, no matter how tempting a warm vagina may be...and I will recuperate my old bones, so that maybe I can do it all over again next month.

Enjoy your Sunday...