Less than we deserve...

My friend L rang me this evening with a question.

"Why is it," he asked "acceptable for a gay man to grab a woman's breast, but not a straight man? What is the difference?"

Hmmm...now I don't propose to know all the answers, and in fact most of the time I google any of my queries but I asked him to explain his situation/dilemma.

Apparently on the train on the way home, there were a group of girls with a young man who was clearly gay...maybe he had a t-shirt on proclaiming this fact, I really don't know and didn't dare ask. However, during a giggly session on the train this man felt the need to fondle another woman's breasts...which received giggles and general laughter, rather than a smack round the chops which would have been my preferred reaction.

Perhaps some women see this as acceptable, but I certainly don't. Perhaps because the guy involved isn't interested in women it is deemed ok to touch her there...however what the hell happened to self respect?

Am I old fashioned in the belief that this is still considered a part of your body that is private, intimate and only to be fondled by your partner or yourself?  I don't think I am, as my friend was fairly outraged by it too...hence the telephone call.

I suppose if you don't respect yourself, then who else will? If it is ok to allow anyone to do that to you, what does that say about the person themselves? If we allow people to walk all over us and treat us like doormats, then surely this says more about our own self esteem than who they are.

Even adults can be bullies...it doesn't stop at the playground.

Part of my journey has been about walking away from being treated with no respect; about gaining confidence in who I am as a person and realising that I am worthy of more. To be fair it has taken some time to realise that a doormat I will no longer be, and alas probably for these girls it will take time too.

But what I can do is ensure that the hobbits always treat other people with respect as they grow, and that I and they never allow others to treat us with less than we deserve.