My friend H is very wise.
I have known her just under three years and I have always respected and valued her opinion.
Alas I don't get much of a chance these days to see her, but we keep in touch as much as we can and today she and I caught up during my lunchbreak over coffee and panini's.
She has a gorgeous baby who is now nearly eight months old, and looks the spitting image of her mummy.
H has been through a lot in her years, hence the reason I respect her opinion. She is the one who told me to filter through advice as people will always give you the advice that is pertinent to them and their life experiences, and consequently it may not always be the right advice for you at the time.
However, today she told me something that her dad told her and it has always stuck in her head.
She said,"you know there is never just one person for another person. There is no such thing as a soulmate, there are choices."
I was glad to hear this to be honest, because all this recent talk about about soulmates was beginning to get on my nerves quite frankly. (Sorry to the man in Peru and Pootle! :-D)
H went onto say that she is with her partner and future husband for a reason, it is her choice to be with him and that makes her feel quite empowered. However, she knows that there are other choices out there for her...should she choose to look.
"Take for example that menu of Panini's," she said pointing to the blackboard, "one week you might fancy a bit of tuna, but on another occasion coronation chicken might be more your thing...until you try lots of panini's you won't know which one is your favourite and more suited to your taste."
"The things is, there are multiple choices out there...one coronation chicken may taste great, while another has extra chicken and tastes better."
"So your advice is, eat lots of Panini's and get fat?" I ask.
She laughs, "you can just nibble if you prefer...but in essence yes, try all of the Panini's, then you can make a choice of which one is your favourite."
Anyone else feeling hungry at this point?
So I look at the board and see that yes, there are a lot of choices out there. I may not be hungry at the moment, after all one has just had a big lunch, but knowing that I could choose a Panini with an alternative filling when I am feeling peckish is good to know.
So after all this time, life isn't like a box of chocolates...it is a selection of Italian bread with alternative fillings.
Doesn't really sound like something Forrest Gump would say, now does it?
2 comments:
I Agree with H in one way that life is about choices you make but i disagree that there is no such thing as Soulmates, we sometime make choices due to the fact that our Soulmates aren't in the same phase with us at that time eg in another relationship. working on their career etc. so we either choose to wait for them or get on with our lives with the most suitable.
L
It would be nice to think that life gave us a soulmate...that there was indeed 'una media naranja' for everyone as they say in Spanish.
I believe also, that it isn't always necessarily the person you first start life out with...a perfect example of that is my parents relationship, as my father is now with his soulmate...but his soulmate was never my mother.
However, it seems very cruel to me that life would give you just one and you would meet your soulmate, (in your eyes at least) yet they, like you say, were either not ready for you, in another relationship, dont see you in the same way or are simply just busy...
If they truly were your soulmate, then everything else is inconsequential surely? They would feel the same as you and act upon it. The fact that they choose not to, suggests to me that that person is not your soulmate.
If we choose to wait, then we could be waiting for someone who doesn't feel the same as we do, and is that fair? If we choose to accept someone who is just suitable is that also fair?
Having been told that I am categorically not the person for someone else, no matter what my feelings are, then surely that person can not be my soulmate. They are making their clear choice of what they want, and it isn't me. But maybe the next, or the one after the next person that I will meet will be the one who clicks with me, gives back in the same way and wants me as much as I want them...
Perhaps we have a selection of soulmates? Perhaps life wasnt being cruel at all, and gave us three or four soulmates that we could meet on our pathway, and some we may turn down, walk away from...but eventually, maybe even the last option we decide yes, this one is the one. They came at the right time, they tick every box, and they accept me for who I am...I will have that one please.
So which is it? One? (The very last one) Or several? (Leaving you with options and choices)
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