On the right track...

Open your mouth, engage brain and talk...easy, huh?

Hmm..apparently not for some. Some people find it remarkably easy to talk about their feelings and general day to day chit chat, whilst others find it incredibly hard to open up about anything. Especially their inner most thoughts.

This is what makes us different. This is why we are attracted to some people but not others; some men like a confident woman, whilst others are scared of an independent female who knows her own mind and is happy to be inquisitive.

This is at times a good thing. We can't all be the same, and the world would be a boring place if we were...we would all never shut up, and sometimes just being peaceful is the way to go.

However, when the lack of communication becomes an issue in any friendship or relationship it can have devastating consequences.

For me, communication is very important in my life. If I do something to upset one of my friends I would rather they spoke to me about it. It won't make me dislike them, and there may be occasions when I disagree with them...but at least they felt they could trust the solid basis of our friendship to tell me that I pissed them off.

In this world where we have communication at the click of a button, it is easy to see how we rely on email, text message, what's app, viber or Facebook to talk to friends and people we care about. These things make our lives more convenient. However, it transpires that there is also a danger of using these to actually have a relationship rather than using this as an extension of face to face, or voice to voice communication.

My father says that the reason relationships work is communication. He talks about anything and everything with his wife. He respects and values her opinion, he wants to shoot the breeze with her from what's needed in the food cupboard, to local politics and just life.

Friends of mine talk about how their partners want to know who they are, and the only way you can ever learn that is talking about the past, the present and your thoughts about the future. Your dreams become their dreams too...how could they not be if they want to support you?  Sharing your life with someone you love, and who loves you back is one of the most amazing things in the world; we are so lucky that we have the ability to do that.

So, dear god please, leave the email for work and complaint letters; leave the texting for general messaging and reminding someone to pick up milk on the way home...and keep communication alive, by taking the time to tell someone face to face your thoughts, good or bad. Yes it may be difficult, it may hurt, but actually it could also help them make sense of what you are trying to say.

As a blogger I love the written word, but people will always read into my blogs as implying one thing while others another. Someone asked me recently if every blog was about me...good god no...that suggests that I have fifteen men on the go, have tried every sex toy in the manual and support the conservatives. (Wild accusations always rile me!)

Which is why messaging and emails are so difficult when talking about your emotions. Someone else will always read it in a different way to which you intended. A very good friend of mine learnt that lesson this week...and I dedicate my blog to her and her significant other tonight. I know you guys are on the right track....keep talking.

XXX