The muffalo...

My house was full to bursting last night...

Head count of nine at one point and that wasn't including the hobbits, who were safely ensconced upstairs watching a selection of superhero films. Nine people in my house makes it quite busy, I don't have a mansion...

They were all there to meet Eddie Morgan. A medium.

I booked him many weeks ago, and he had come with a high recommendation and allegedly messages from the beyond for us. (Knowing where the secret bank account was stashed would have been a good one!)

He was actually very good and spent individual time with everyone, I myself was quite surprised by what he revealed.

Whilst my guests met with Eddie the rest of us chatted, drunk tiny drinks, nibbled on snacks and gossiped.

"Not long until New York ladies," says one of my guests to Pootle and I.
Pootle and I look at each other with a mixture of excitement and fear.
"Aren't you excited?" They ask.
"Oh god yes," says Pootle..."we are totally flipped out...just still a bit poor."
"We are considering taking on extra jobs to save some more money." I concur.
"Or selling our house hold contents." She adds...planning her boot sale this weekend.
"We had considered doing those sex telephone lines." I add jokingly.

The lovely L (female version) turns to us, "I saw a program on that, those women make really good money on that. There was one just doing her ironing and chatting away to this guy on the phone while he, well, you know."
"I know," says Pootle, "it is very lucrative, I have told her (me) to do it...she could be flipping the hobbits eggy bread in the morning and earning £10 a minute."
"I think the oil sizzling in the pan might put him off." I suggest.
"No, you just explain that is you..hot for him baby."
"Ewwwww."

"I would suggest," says another guest, "that if you do it, that you don't do it in front of the children."
Pootle and I exchange looks, really? Was there ever any danger of that happening...can you imagine?

"Oh my god, bed time reading would never be the same would it? Hey boys, bear with me while I take this call...don't worry this is the new version of The Gruffalo."
"It's called the Muffalo...it is very educational."
"Yep, no more you'll taste good on a slice of bread, but you taste nice lying on my bed..."
"...he is down in the woods eating Muffalo pie."
"...he had horrible knees, and turned out toes and was covered in whipped cream all over his hose."

Maybe we shouldn't go into telephone lines...but changing popular children's stories into adult porn could be an option...