And it's goodnight from her...

Today is the final blog of The Year of Being Forty...

I am a little sad I confess...In fact more than a little...

I would recommend anyone to write a diary of your life for one year. Time goes by so fast that we rarely take a step back to look at what is happening, or reflect on what we have done...and having a daily diary has given me the chance to do that.

What a year, eh?
Over 360 posts and over 26,000 hits later we are here...

The famous Hollister Boys..the day it all started

A regular with J and C...

I never expected when I started writing the first blog back on June 16th celebrating my 40th birthday last year that not only would I have such positive feedback and support, but also that I would experience the year I have had.

The final blog comes to you, of course, from New York City.

OMG...I finally made it. It was one of the most out of reach goals on my list 365 days ago, but I am here with one of my closest friends in the world and it is one of the most best experiences of my life. (Photos to come...)

However that leads me nicely onto Pootle...


Pootle - equally worthy of the title...

What can I say today that I haven't already told you about her?


The drive of my life...almost!

She is warm, gregarious, fun and quite simply one of the best people I know. She has been through everything with me; she has inspired me, encouraged me and even watched me fall when falling was the only option and picked me up again. She has drunk copious amounts of wine and gin with me and accepted me for who I really am. I love her more than I can say, she always provides me with sunshine ammunition and if I did have just one wish it is that she has the happy future she truly, undeniably deserves.


The tattoo..my hobbits initials...


I didn't quite manage everything on my list; but do you know what...that is ok. What I did achieve was empowering and amazing. I learnt to ride a motorbike and I am still riding, practicing and swearing; I drove a sportscar; I have my tattoo and I lost weight; I have my purple DM's; my pink suede cowboy hat, I am here in New York; I drove a tractor and I hope, I have worked very hard to make happy hobbits.



Day I passed my CBT

I still need to work on 'that novel'...but maybe now I have the time to do that, as well as the new blog...well, you can't shut a Gemini up for too long.

I am genuinely looking back on the year that I have had and I see a different person to the one who started this blog. I am beginning to 'get it'. I know what is important in my world. It may not be what it is important in your world...but if we care about each other then we respect what individually is important to all of us.

What I also get now, or at the very least am beginning to 'get' is me...how I tick; what I need, want or what I am. I also get how lucky, truly lucky I am. I have great friends, the best dad ever and three of the most amazing super heroes by my side. They may not be perfect; behave themselves at the dinner table; remember to say their p's and q's or behave like angels 24/7...however, they are kind, loving, warm, funny, caring, naughty, endearing and totally boy like...and I am totally privileged to have them by my side.

My confidence has grown and for the first time in many years I feel like me again. Really me. You know that person who gets lost in the years of growing up, getting married, having children...I am now recognising the person who embraces dancing in the kitchen, who is happy in their own company and in their own skin.

I also managed to achieve things in the year that I never expected to do.

What I never expected, was to fall for someone.
It was an interesting experience...a bit of a roller coaster if I am honest, but now I can look back and understand the feelings and emotions that went into that time.

He, or him as he is normally known, was in and out of my life for ten months of my year of being forty, so he is relevant to the journey. It wasn't meant to be for many different reasons, but I wish him good luck for the future. He did show me, albeit unintentionally, that I am more than worthy of having someone that truly loves me as much as I love them...and I look forward to meeting that person (if I haven't already) in another chapter.

The things we do for friends!

There have also been other people in the last year who have experienced my little journey with me; so I want to say thank you to J who has provided me with endless entertainment and blogging material, she has been a huge support and a fantastic surrogate aunt to three little hobbits.

Copious amount of alcohol has been consumed.

To C for remaining to be the solid, beautiful friend that has stood by me stoically. Her and husband J have also provided me with some of the best blogs, and they have also stood by me while I made some terrible decisions and never criticised me for them.

Then there is L.
You have absolutely, without a doubt become one of my closest friends and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you have had to put up with. You did it with humour, love and no pre-judgement. You shook me when I needed it and laughed with me when all that could be done was laugh...thank you for your counsel and understanding.

Then there is my brilliant dad.
I could never have got to New York without you, and I sometimes nearly didn't get through the week without shooting the breeze with you or asking for advice. I love you and want to thank you for your never ending support. You are amazing dad and I am honoured to be your daughter.

There are also so many friends who have been supportive and kind, and I would like to thank you all as I am amazingly lucky to have you in my life. Lady London, B, L, H and so many more. Please don't be disappointed if you are not mentioned, because you are genuinely all respected in your part of my year and I thank you for it.

However, although this sounds like an Oscar speech...or a last will and testament, I am neither dying or winning an award for best blogger. Alas I am simply reflecting on the last 365 days as I will be 41, in just a few hours...I wonder what that year will bring?

Pootle...

Me...

I hope you will follow the new blog...I have no idea what is round the corner, hey maybe I will get a Hollywood ending after all? (In fact Daniel Craig is at the bar right now ordering me a G&T...)

However, for now I just have to say thank you and an emotional goodbye to the year of being forty...it's been one heck of an experience...but I wouldn't change a thing.

So for now, it's goodnight from her...

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