Happy Birthday...

Now whilst it is true that what happens in NY, should stay in NY...there is, unfortunately, small print to this clause as Pootle said to me this morning; the trouble with the blog is that there isn't much that is staying in New York as it is all over the damn blog or Facebook....

We are having an absolute blast. Truly we are. We are even talking like New Yorkers this morning, and could possibly even give directions if indeed someone wanted to go to Fifth Avenue, 42nd Street East or West or Victoria's Secret...

The food out here is of monumental size proportions so whilst we are enjoying the food, we have both decided that a diet is the first priority on out return. How anyone can sustain this amount of food is beyond me...we even had a side order of vegetables yesterday as our bodies were actually craving something healthy!

Alas, eating a lot of food...means other things too. You know...where it all kind of ends up?

Sharing a hotel room with someone who is effectively on the same body clock as you, means that the 'ahem' restroom is used more or less at the same time...and when you compare that with the fact that a monumental amount of food has been consumed, naturally you would understand that a monumental amount of crap has to occur.

Now for Pootle...a blocked toilet has happened in her house before, however then we had the handiness of M, who would come swinging down the road to her aid with a big plunger...alas, M isn't here, and can not fly like other superheroes....

Therefore...yesterday, after I had been to use the restroom after Pootle, I came out of the room with a scared look on my face and the definitive line;
"Houston. We have a problem."

Now I can not blame this solely on her: the consequence of what happened is without a doubt a team effort...however, we really did have a problem. The toilet was blocked and no matter the amount of flushing, nothing was going away...

We panicked!!! OMG...we were going to start a health scare, we would be news items on ABC or NBC, the Hotel was going to charge us plumbing charges on our credit cards...we were in deep shit.

"I know," says Pootle, "we could be the A-Team!"
"What are you talking about? I don't recall the episode where they were called to assist in a plumbing emergency!!!!" I am almost hysterical about the situation.
"No, but they always go into the garage with tape and a hammer and come out with a tank. We need to think like them. What have we got?"
"Nothing! No big stick, no plunger, no loo brush...nothing!"
"Aha," she says, "but I have card." And she starts to roll up a long piece of card to make a tube.
"What are you going to do with it? Blow down it? "
"No, I am going to beat it...bear with, I am going in." She then goes in and places a shower cap around her hands for protection...

She bravely opens the door and then the lid, I am mortified... I can not believe that we have blocked up the toilet in this very posh hotel...and even worse we were now beating it with a long piece of cardboard.

She emerges, sweating. "F**k...that sucker was a fighter. There is no way we can do this without industrial back up."
"This means.....you mean...." I stutter.
"Yes. We have to tell the concierge."

I have died. I can not imagine anything more embarrassing and mortifying.

She looks at me sitting on the floor almost crying...and remembering the significance of the day looks at me and says quietly..."Happy Birthday." Then kind of rubs my shoulder in an almost sorry mate kind of way...

I fear it is gonna be one of those years again...