Hormones and sugar...

Pootle and I have a friend who works for a funeral directors.

He is an incredibly close friend of Pootle's, and I know him through her. He kind of fell into working at a funeral directors when out of work many years ago, however actually genuinely enjoys his job.

Of course, there are the sad cases of children or young adults, but essentially he is professional and caring, and shows decorum when that is required.

Except it seems when he is off to pick up a body in the limousine at three pm this afternoon...when he called Pootle from the car to thank her for the present she picked up for him in New York.

"Love it!" He says, above the scream of something playing in the background.
"You sound a bit high," she says, "what are you doing?"
"Driving to pick up a 20 stone man who has passed away this morning...on the motorway. Got my gift on." He informs her very excited. "I absolutely love it."
"You are not serious, please tell me you are not driving a funeral limousine with a Bubba Gump shrimp hat on?"
"Yep...I ain't taking it off...gonna grow me a beard and live on a boat. Just started eating the American chocolate too."
"Ah, that would explain why you are high..." She says.
"Actually," he falters, "I am starting to get a bit of a head rush. Chocolate is sitting on my lungs...I may be having a heart attack from the caramel and marshmallow rush...god how do people eat this stuff?"
"Seriously? God, I have killed you by a sugar rush..." She is briefly worried...
"Don't worry, if I feel bad shall just get in the back and zip up..."

Once she is reassured that he is really ok she says goodbye and relays the conversation to me.
"Christ he only had one bar and he is bouncing off the walls..."
"For gods sake don't give the kids any...that is an adult we are talking about, their bodies will never cope..."

Slowly we both look out the window of our five boys leaping and playing out in the garden...if anyone gives them an Amercan bar of chocolate, I think I will slip into the body bag and stay low for a while myself...

Hormones and sugar, as we know, never mix.