Tax evasion...

We are currently in D's lounge comparing bosoms...

To be fair... D is not actually part of the comparing, but we have discovered through a drunken haze that J has the best bosom ever...truly she does. They are like memory foam! Seriously, she needs to patent them because they make the best pillows ever...

Needless to say we won't even bother to talk about mine...I already feel inadequate.

So we are here, full up after a very nice meal out with D, J, Pootle and myself and are staying here as it is quicker to Heathrow in the morning, well that and we can start our holiday quicker...we are very very excited; much to the dismay of J and D, who feel like they are looking after two very exuberant children.

We are packed; we have our dollars; are waxed up to the eyebrows...ahem...and are tanned....

Well, I am tanned...Pootle appears to have changed her ethnicity since 8 am this morning.

She decided to go for a spray tan this morning while I did some housework...calling up my stairs just after 11 am this morning, she slowly but surely peaks her head around one of the boys bedrooms where I am cleaning..
"Do I look black? I think the lady at the salon may have put on the wrong colour."
I look at her slowly and attempt to keep a straight face. The colour on her face has enhanced her white teeth and the very bright whites of her eyes.
"No..." I say slowly and turn away.
"Look at me." She demands.
"I can't."
"Look at me!"
So I do...then laugh. I can't help it. She really does look like a black cloned Pootle.
"Stop laughing at me," she says laughing too.
"Then stop making me look at you!"

I have to say it truly is the funniest thing I have seen in ages...so funny my stomach hurt and my cheeks ached from laughing. You will be pleased to hear that she has showered some of it off now...and now looks less like an extra from TOWIE.

However, this new change in her we have decided may mean that she could be done for tax evasion; as she distinctly remembers ticking White on her equal opportunities form for her tax credits...and she really isn't anymore...