The dictionary according to me...

Honesty;
noun; truthfulness, sincerity or frankness; the quality or fact of being honest....

Communication;
noun; the act or process of communicating; the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing or signs...

I am aware that both of these words I have discussed on here before, but nevertheless I am clearly not communicating it effectively to the masses.

Oh alright I hear you....I mean the few people in the Ukraine who read my blog.


There are occasions of course where honesty is not the best policy...to spare someone from pain or hurt; to appease a child about Father Christmas (although I still believe) or in the event of arranging a surprise - white lies have their place.

Within any relationship communication and honesty still remain, in my mind, the key elements of life with someone else.

They are valued components. They work in conjunction with each other.

With the time and energy that you give to someone else, time you can never get back, these components are paramount throughout a relationship so why not hold onto those values when it is time to say goodbye?

Now shitty things happen to good people. It is unfortunately the way of the world. People make their own judgements, have their own opinions and feelings about others. We can not change what we feel or inherently who we are.

Sadly relationships do come to an end. One or both parties make that decision. That is not my concern here today; my concern is more about the value of honesty and communication in either the breaking down or break up of a relationship.

If someone has given another person time and put energy into a relationship, then surely that person deserves the respect when it comes to the reasons behind why it is no longer working for them. Not only does it help with closure for the relationship and gives the other person the motivation to move on, there is also the chance that after talking things through with clarity and sincerity, that there is a way to resolve issues.

I was once given a reason for ending a 'relationship' that someone had with me which had no foundation. No consideration how I thought about 'the issue' or even a frank and full discussion to discover if it even was an issue. Consequently I never responded either and never told them, that actually it wasn't the issue that they thought it was. They hadn't even given me the respect and time to talk it through with me; they just made assumptions (wrongly) and made their mind up based on those assumptions.

This week this scenario appears once again to have risen its ugly head in a friend of mine. They had no idea that their partner felt that there were issues, they were never given a real chance to talk about compromises and changes in their relationship that perhaps would mean that the issues were no longer relevant. It was over. They had made up their mind...without ever really effectively communicating and discussing it.

Sad isn't it? There was no fight for the relationship, no chance to resolve it and to give respect for the time given. I know this isn't new to people, but interestingly so many relationships would work if people worked harder at being honest and communicating throughout the relationship, and maybe there would be no final conversation.

So in essence, honesty; in short a simple seven letter word...and communication; a slightly longer word, however in the dictionary according to me two words that are vital to the existence of a healthy relationship, and alas of which, some people have no real concept of.