Doing it alone...

I discovered something this week that I'd been unwittingly missing...and no, it wasn't just my sanity of raising three superheroes, that alas, has been missing for a very long time.

No what I realised this week is that I had been plodding along in my usual hustle and bustle of a life, and lo and behold bam there it was. It kind of crept upon me, sneaky like - one moment I was happily, definitely enjoying my solitary existence, then the next...not so much.

What started as a comfortable evening with a friend, chatting, watching TV, suddenly left me with the realisation that not only had I enjoyed the company, but that I had also missed it.

Not such a shocker perhaps to many of you, we all enjoy company, however most of us singletons are quite happy with the fact that we get to hog the remote control all night, and that we have first refusal on the last chocolate biscuit in the tin. However, there are occasions, where the companionship of another or a cuddle on the sofa with someone more profound than the dog, is the only thing that one needs.

A friend on Facebook has written that very thing this evening - a public declaration of her need for that most basic human instinct, (beside food and water obviously)...warmth, touch and affection.

I mentioned it to another friend just yesterday, genuinely surprised that my emotional need had shifted a little.
"It's a new phase in your life," she said with delight, "It's not such a terrible thing is it?"
"Well, no of course not."
"It is not that surprising that you are moving on and are ready for the next phase." She went on to explain that the last three years had seen so many changes; relationships that perhaps one wasn't ready for; a new home, new car and creating new ground rules for raising children alone, to name but a few, that it was only natural that once things were established that I would want the next thing. "You have proved your independence," she said, "Now it is time to allow someone else in."

With this declaration she rummages through my recently delivered post and smiles, "Look! Local business man looking for new trade! Get a quote, it could be the man of your dreams!"
I think this is highly unlikely - and to be fair, I already have a window cleaner who is very good at his job. However, it does make me think that if we do not 'push' ourselves to make that step, then it is more than probable that the single life will remain the path that I am on.

The man of my dreams, (if such a thing exists) isn't going to turn up on my front door without an invite, and whilst much of the advice from good friends is, 'things only happen when you aren't looking for them'; well, I am sorry to burst that bubble but I know friends who have not been looking for years and guess what...they are still single.

I am, however, not quite ready to frequent every bar in my search for a star...or to work through the soul destroying internet dating websites again...so I am left pretty much where I am. Bumbling through life, in the knowledge that I am remiss of my companion and his affection.

It will happen - one day. In the meantime, I seem to have acquired some local tradesmen telephone numbers...hey, don't knock it, it's as good a place to start as any...and Pootle, we do have a lot of work to do on our houses. Who said we had to do it alone?