Obsessions...

This blog is dedicated to my new boots.

For those of you that are not interested in purple suede; expert stitching; perfect laces and sturdy soles, there is nothing for you to read here. Step away from the computer and go and make yourself a cup of tea, because today is all about my beautiful boots.
If you hadn't already guessed it they have arrived. I was incredibly nervous all day, as it was a special delivery and I had to leave a note for the delivery driver, begging him to be kind enough to try next door if there was no answer from mine. I actually gave him three different house numbers to try - just in case any of them were out as well.

Anyway - I arrived home to see my neighbour emerge with a big grey plastic bag covering the box that is; my boots.

Excitement building...I was too scared to try them on. They were so perfect. I stroked them (yes I did really...) I smelt them...inspected every inch of them, then put them back in the box.

Throughout the evening, I peeked and admired. I am genuinely so happy to have them, but now I am nervous about wearing them. 

These may be just potentially the most expensive boots I have ever bought - sad but true, and I have actually been looking at them, or versions of them for about five years. Finally, they are here in my home - for me - and I bought them. 

Although this may be hard for some people to understand; my boots are an example of my personality, of who I used to be, before I became the black cloud.  The person I was with would never have understood why I would have wanted something so 'off the wall', or fun - so it was on my list for a very good reason.

They are not just boots - they are a symbol. (Jumps off soapbox).

For some reason these boots sum up who I am, who I was and where I am going. You are all going to think I have totally lost the plot, but I can't believe that there isn't one of you out there that doesn't have an obsession about something - that you actually don't need, that you want anyway but thus far have been unable to justify purchasing or stealing said item.

Talking it through with my friend K - she recognises this and remembers a pair of red sexy cowboy boots that said it all for her.

So, I will eventually try them on, and I will eventually wear them with pride. For now, it's just me and my boots - and a private moment of conspiratorial connection between us. They know.

Perfect therapy...

It was apparent this evening that I required therapy.

The last few days have been hectic for different reasons, and when I spoke to the hobbits this evening I felt completely and utterly overwhelmed by the fact that they weren't with me.

Just two weeks in I am missing them and their cuddles - heck I even miss the arguments over whose turn it is to watch Ben 10.

Rather than causing them or anyone else any concern, I was lucky enough to fit in a therapy session.

It was a bit short notice, so I was surprised that William was able to fit me in this evening. He listened to me and made several suggestions about what I should do to combat this feeling of loss.

He even played his own version of Imagine by John Lennon - a genuinely special moment.

William has a mop of gorgeous blond hair, a great smile and his favourite word is testes.  He is five years old and is the son of a friend of mine.  He was perfect therapy and I was lucky that he was able to fit me in between 'Shaun the Sheep' and bedtime. After all it was late notice.

William should be expensive and could probably charge by the hour, something I can ill afford - thankfully because I know his mum, his particular type of therapy was free.

He and I discussed words that sound great when you shout them, including bottom, poo and willie; and according to William I have fat boobs - I am sincerely hoping that this is a compliment.

His parting shot was a cuddle in a green dinosaur dressing gown, and a nonchalant shrug about prescribing a glass of Baileys as a PRN with my bath this evening.

Thank you to William for putting me back together this evening; and of course to his wonderful PA his mum, who supplied the refreshments.

Self indulging...

"Life is hard at the moment" I flippantly mention to a friend today.
She looked at me bemused, "Hmm, yeah well it is at your pace." she says, "No wonder you are worried about grey eyebrows."

She is so right.
I do feel like I am running like a freight train at the moment. I am creating a few more added stresses to my life, far more than it really needs.

I need a chance to relax; reflect, a chance to suspend reality just a little bit and have some self indulgement.

Hmmm - now what would be self indulging enough?

Self indulging?

A long soak in a bubble filled bath?
Champagne in a tall frosted glass?
Or, watching 'An Officer and a Gentleman' and eating dark chocolate?

The trouble is it has to be something that burns off the energy that I seem to have accrued even though I am sleeping less than I have ever done, and it has to be something that I really will lose myself in doing.

So without further ado - I bring you, the guide to dancing in the kitchen. (Yeah, admit it - you wondered where I was going with this didn't you?)

It takes one iPod and a spotlight. It's invigorating, burns off energy and has just the right amount of self indulgence to make yourself feel good.

iPod on - David Guetta on the iTunes, 'crank it up' - and the world is my oyster. I am a superstar.

In reality, I can not dance. I have no real co-ordination and stumble over my own feet, let alone anyone else's. Consequently any dancing I do is best left to my alone time - under the cover of darkness, without the neighbours watching in case they call an ambulance for me.

However in my fantasy world I can work the moves and I can sing. I have two backing dancers who look very much like the Hollister Boys from London, and they transport me wherever I need to go.

The lads - again!

The door frame is one kicking dancing pole, and I have to ensure that I push the furniture back far enough so that the hamster can check out my moves.

Eventually I come back to Earth with a bump - those Hollister Boys are strong but there is only so much weight a man can carry.

However, in the meantime, and until I get carted away by the men in white - I am rocking it with my iPod...and no one is watching.

Go girlfriend!

Blog block...

I confess that I am having a blog dilemma.

The original point of my blog was to be a diary, and was for me to record my feelings, or events, or even great conquests in the spirit that was intended. Ideally with a flip side and a serving of hash browns.

However two events have happened recently that I feel are too private to divulge and tell you readers all about them - and no... there were no portals of power involved!

One involves a man and one involves a woman. They do not know each other - at least not yet, and yesterday they occupied my thoughts.

Consequently, my blog dilemma is a creating a blog block. I felt unable to write last night, as the issues that were on my mind couldn't be expressed.  I felt I had to  suppress them and my mind was desperately trying to think of alternatives to write about, rather than dealing with these issues.

So I need to find a way before I can move on successfully, and talk to you about all the other b**locks that goes on in my head.

Firstly, the female;
She is one of my closest friends and yesterday she looked a little bit sad, and a little bit down. I want to try and tell her that she is special; and that she will meet someone who will see her for exactly as she is. Funny, clever, warm, kind and a little bit 'speshul' herself (you just know it's the only way to be). I don't know if she will see herself in this paragraph, as I don't even want to give the initial of her name, to prevent her from feeling exposed.

But let me tell you this; do not reinvent yourself, do not ever be someone else - you are quite simply amazing, and I am so very lucky to have you as my friend.  You have so much to look forward to, everything is there waiting....and, as for Mr Speshul...he is just busy at the moment, he needs to do things before he can meet you. Then you will know that you didn't need to change at all.

As for the man I mentioned, I must tell you this;

Please don't wantonly leave Jelly Babies in my house when I am on a diet. It is cruel and unkind as I think I could smell the sugar and E numbers from a 50 yard radius.  It's not attractive to be caught licking Jelly Babies feet - and I believe there may be some laws preventing me from doing this, or at least there should be.

Also, I think you should know that it's always fun. Although there is a little bit of an internal dilemma occurring.  It's very hard to look relaxed and cool, when inside your heart seems to be smacking against your rib cage.

And finally - whatever happens...there is always botox.

Batman vs Spiderman

Apologies to all for the late delay in the blog tonight.

However, it will be short and sweet due to tiredness and early morning commitments.

Tonight I went to see Batman at the cinema.
Don't bother going to see it, it's boring. Get it out on DVD.
I wish I'd seen Spiderman instead.
At least with Spiderman I can admire his buns of steel through his Lycra, while Batman obscures his with his cape.

Team GB...

Well it transpires that there are some people in this world that don't like purple suede DM's.

I know; you are shocked, but alas it is true. There are some people who can not see the excitement that could, would and should possibly occur upon owning said boots.

I know, I should name and shame - but they know who they are, and when the boot revolution arrives where will you be? Eh? In shoes that will not be able to compete with the quality that is, and always be... Doctor Martin's.

Anyway, we shall leave it there and let them hang their heads in shame and disgrace.

In honour of the Olympics I have been swimming tonight. I thought it was only appropriate to join in on this wondrous occasion that we are celebrating here in the UK, go Team GB!

Leaving my Twix and kebab in my handbag for a snack on the journey home and tucked safely in my locker, I proceeded to earn gold and race a few fellow swimmers on the home run.

However, there is always someone who thinks they own the bloody pool. People who should know better. They deliberately hold you up in the fast lane, or go the wrong way round when the arrows point this way round...Grrr.

We all pay 3 quid love; you don't own it even though your arse takes up four metres of chlorine infused water.

Needlessly to say, I deliberately swam close to her and coerced her to swim faster...Team GB me. Take that!

Other fellow swimmers were far more courteous and I managed to win in heat one, against a blue rinser and a small child of about 6 - go me!! I am invincible.

Other than that my day has been quiet, apart from pushing a broken down car for an old lady and then will fully abandoning her when she told me her AA had expired. My car was blocking the traffic so I had no choice...but she did make puppy eyes at me as I ran off. Sheesh, what more do people want, I pushed her car 600 yards!!

Oh, and I also saw a shooting star last night and wished that some people appreciated purple DM's the way they are supposed to be appreciated... with a-dor-a-tion.

Until tomorrow...

New boots...

What a day...

After a lively start to my morning, I managed to debrief and relax with my amazing friend B once she was finally awake, over tea and blurry eyes. How she copes with me I will never be able to fully explain, but she does and probably deserves an Olympic Gold for all her efforts.

Leaving her to go on a bike ride with her scrumptiously delicious boys, who are now in charge of replacement boy cuddles while my hobbits are away, I looked at my list of jobs to do with new focus and keen determination...
Then another friend invited me to go to shopping...hmm what is a girl supposed to do?

This particular friend is very special.
When I was at my lowest she brought me chicken soup, wine and humour. She told me that life would get better, and she was right.  Her and her husband helped me move furniture, laughed at my painting abilities when I needed to cleanse the house and were there for me whenever I needed them....and still are to this day.

Understanding my inexplicable (ahem) adrenalin rush, they appreciated that I needed to get out and just do something. So, they took me to Brighton. I have had a very enjoyable afternoon shopping for a bloke...well I wasn't going to spend any money, but was more than happy to choose clothes for my friends husband and spend his money.

Shopping is tiring, so what better way to finish it off than with Pimms.

Drinking afternoon Pimms in The Lanes, watching the world go by is now one of my top things to do on a sunday...or to be honest, on any day.

So nicely subdued with Pimms I turn the computer on and to discover to my extreme excitement that my purple DM's ARE ON SALE.... I feel the need to put this in capitals to genuinely emphasise my feelings about this.  Followers of my blog will know that when I looked at these boots before they were in the region of 90 quid...cough cough.. however they are now on sale.

Beautiful boots...

I have ordered them....she says sheepishly...

I even rang my Dad to ask for permission, because I am a bit sad like that with any purchase over £20!

So, a few things off my list in just two weeks...the boots are on the way, I have driven a sports car, and I smelt a nice man.... I am fit to burst!!!

Life just gets better every day - my friend with the chicken soup was bang on!