Felching, belching and snowballing...

The above are just a few of the subjects of conversation I have had with my friend and her husband in their garden today.

They are very patient with me, (as they need to be when I am pondering on new subjects of conversation) and I always leave their house feeling so much more educated than I did when I arrived.

It is, at this point, that I must assure my readers that my friends are not sadistical sexual deviants, but merely a couple that are open to any type of conversation that heads our way...or just simply appeasing me and my queries.

It all started with a discussion about gerbilling.

My friends husband, (man with buns of steel) showed me a clip on YouTube of a newsreader describing a couple who had been caught out whilst felching with a gerbil, a toilet roll and a lighted match...it was very funny, and made me look at our pet hamster in a completely different light.

Click to listen...
However, it all pretty much went downhill from there...

Being an inquisitive young lady, (or a nosey old bag whichever floats your boat), with a healthy thirst for knowledge I whipped out the iPad to Google all of the above.

Now, I ask my friend, do we go for the Urban Dictionary definition, or Wikipedia? We consider this for a moment, and decide that good old Wiki is probably the most trustworthy of sources and we proceed to be enlightened.

(It was either that or I was calling my Dad, and Dad I really didn't want to put you through those types of conversations again!)

There is a part of me that is loathe to tell you on here what we discovered. Not only was felching the most disgusting thing I have ever read about, Wikipedia then led me to a link all about snowballing - and no, there is no mention of snow or indeed Christmas scenes.

Also just in case we were unsure of the well versed description, there was even a cartoon drawing of a smiley couple demonstrating the art of snowballing - this was the bit that really made us gag...no pun intended.

Snowballing, if you didn't know is the art of making a liquid (ahem) have more volume...by passing it from mouth to mouth, and adding saliva. Hence the action that you do when making a snowball...increasing it's size.

Strangely many people are pretty uncomfortable with this practice, according to Wikipedia.

Really?
I am surprised.

To be honest I can't really see it being a hit at many parties, like pass the balloon between your legs or pass the Mars Bar (a particular favourite of mine)...or pass the parcel ....

Hmmmm, no passing the semen orally around your party guests really doesn't have the same kind of ring to it does it?

How on earth did someone discover that a) they enjoyed having a gerbil up their bum or, b) thought that a good old sharing of mouthwash with warm washing up liquid should be done between friends? Did they slip over whilst giving their pets cage a good old clean out and get two for the price one?

I feel at this point, the need to reassure my father, that I shall not be partaking in any of the above. They are not on my life list Dad, so you can breathe a sigh of relief now...unless of course, you were holding your breath for a different reason?

I am however, rather good at belching and can not guarantee that after a hearty meal I may not partake in that. In the meantime, I shall stick to reading about my new found knowledge base in Wikipedia...my new friend.