Hobbit withdrawl...

At about 7.45am this morning, there was a very loud thud.

Did you hear it?

It was quite impressive, and it was totally inevitable that it was coming. It was me falling back to Earth with a massive bump.

It left quite a hole as you can imagine - hey, the Grand Canyon ain't got nothing on me baby, and I think that the hole was a big as it was due to the magnitude of how I felt.

I apologise if it woke anyone up - and had I been prepared I could have advised NASA, so that no floating satellites were unharmed.

Nevertheless you never really know when these things are going to happen - a bit like shooting stars.

The last few weeks I have been strong wondering woman; there was nothing I couldn't achieve. I have had to face the terrifying prospect of leaving my hobbits in another country, without me, and I was determined to do that with a smile on my face so that they and I could cope with anything.

This was going to be my time for some fun, some relaxation and to meet new people.

Well, that brave face fell this morning with such a force that it left a hole in the ground. It is probably something to do about having spoken to them last night on the telephone and hearing them miss me and having that combined with a stressful week.

I only had a little bit of energy on reserve to get through these six weeks, and I am running on empty. My light is flashing and I need to fill up. I have given that energy away and it hasn't been re-stocked.

OK - I am going to be honest here - I miss them so much it hurts. I want to cry today and I have already, thankfully only with B. (Who, by the way is bloody amazing, have I ever mentioned?) I have spent the last three weeks coping with an empty feeling in my stomach, and wandering from friend to friend in a bit of a lost daze.

I can still laugh; I can still exist and order pizza; I am able to hold down a job and pay my bills - but all the time it is there. That dull ache, something is missing. I need cuddles; I need laughing; I need endless demands for drinks and ketchup; I need stupid singing in the bath and I need them. Badly.

Writing this might help me get everything back into perspective, I am after all half way there - they will be home soon, and for sure within 24 hours of their return I will be sick of the arguments - however that is who they are, and I love them for it.

I find myself playing loud music just to block out the thoughts of missing them.  If I can get through this day, this hour, this weekend, this night, then we will be closer to it. The thought of meeting them off the plane in three weeks plays around in my head.

There is no one even close who can give me energy like they do, they really are like sunshine. I need a serious dose of  Vitamin Hobbit to boost me up again.

Friends who read this will know that I think you are all amazing; you have all been so supportive and brilliant and I don't want you to worry - it's not all about me, I know that. I just had to write about the hobbits today because they are not here to provide me with amusing escapades or stressful situations, so I had to write about how much I missed that.

I know I will be just fine and back to normal soon.

Wondering woman doesn't normally stay down for long; but sometimes she could do with a special kind of hand to help her up.