Love custard...

Hello to all if you are reading this...

I have had a nice little break and some quality time with the hobbits, of which regular readers I am sure are quite understanding about.

We have been camping for a couple of nights, where I karaoke'd with the best and the worst of them, and I did some excellent embarrassing mum dancing where the hobbits refused to be seen with me.

Can't possibly imagine why?

We have also had a great day at Legoland where five hobbits were incredibly excited and Spiderman nearly burst with anticipation in the car on the way there. 

Anyway, it's been very nice having a break but now back to business.

Today's blog is about Sperm.

...but more importantly the health benefits of sperm.

I have had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine today.

If you recall I recently blogged about how sperm can allegedly assist with depression. One of my followers, 'Steve', even offered to help me with my quest of eternal happiness. An offer, I can inform my other readers, that I have yet to take up...but always nice to have a back up - so thanks 'Steve'.

However, it appears that Sperm has many other medicinal qualities - why are we not buying this on a regular basis from eBay?

A friend of my friend, (no, really not me), has used Sperm on more than one occasion for acne. When I used Dr Google, it reliably informs me that it can indeed be used for banishing the odd pimple or two, and should be applied vigorously, left for half an hour then removed.

It is something to do with the Zinc content in your man juice that allegedly cleans out those pores. Christ, Johnson & Johnson should have some market on this surely?

Not only can it help with acne, but there is some suggestion that it can also help women with cellulite...now, I don't know about you, but if I were to use this for both acne and cellulite, I get the impression that not many people would talk to me or sit next to me on the bus.

I would smell like a prostitute on a Sunday morning on my way home from work.

So boys, perhaps this should be your new chat up line?
"Hey babe, have you any idea how much my love custard could improve your life?"
Guys, you should be marketing this - you could be bigger than facebook!

After all, how many single products can genuinely say that they can clear up acne, banish cellulite, improve happiness and make you pregnant in one single shot? Not many.

However perhaps the possibility of falling pregnant should be listed as more of a side effect...

Needless to say I have not been to a sperm health regime today and do not foresee it in my future, but would quite like to know if anyone else has.

You never know, I might be a convert.