The pleasures of vanilla...

With the craze that is apparently still sweeping the nation, of the phenonmenon of Fifty Shades of Grey, 'Vanilla' seems to be the buzz word of late.

Now for those of you who are unsure about this expression, as there may be still be some who haven't reduced their standard of reading; vanilla is a term that is used when describing something that is plain, simplistic or something that doesn't deviate from the norm...so vanilla sex, would be straight normal sex rather than any add-on's!

Catching up with work email on a monday morning, sipping coffee and most importantly hearing the gossip of the weekend, two work colleagues and I were shooting the breeze over their recent antics.

My female work colleague has recently met a fella. She is now a few dates in and things have just started to get a little bit more interesting. In fact, she herself experienced vanilla sex over the weekend, whilst my male colleague who is a little further down the line than her, regaled us with his story about how he had managed to scare the boyfriend's cat whilst taking his fella at the kitchen sink.

I feel that that story may require a blog all of his own, nevertheless cat lovers can be rest assured that George the cat is now seeking therapy from the RSPCA.

With the current climate of 'Fifty Shades', there is an assumption that vanilla must equal boring sex. Yet talking it through this morning we happily came to the conclusion that vanilla sex was actually more sensitive, intimate and kinder than any other flavoured sex.

Not that any of us had anything against sex that may be more adventurous, however unsurprisingly it turns out that life isn't all about that and that on general acceptance we all agreed that vanilla was a preferred option.

'It means that the pheromones are in sync', said my male colleage knowledgeably.
'Really?' I asked, how does he know that?
He shrugs, 'It's like knowing that a man will be good in bed, you have to complete the nipple test.'

Sorry, what?

He proceeded to inform me that a man will never be any good in bed if his nipples aren't sensitive, they won't feel the full emotion or benefit of good sex, therefore they can never give it themselves.

Really?
My female colleague concurred, 'Oh I agree completely. there always has to be a nipple test.'

Have I seriously lived on another planet all my life? Am I the only one who has never even considered, let alone observed the nipple test?

I really wish I had known this snippet of information many years ago - partly why I am sharing it here on my blog, just in case there is anyone else out there who has lived on the same planet as me...I truly wouldn't want you to make the same mistake.

So, essentially vanilla doesn't mean boring, (well certainly where sex is concerned anyway, I have met people that I would class as vanilla, who are as boring as hell.)

We are embracing vanilla as the new black, as the way to move forward in a trusting relationship and as the way to show someone how you really feel.

However, I am fairly sure that vanilla with a nice healthy dose of raspberry ripple, strawberry sauce and a sprinkling of nuts on the top wouldn't be sniffed at either...