Advice...

I am a typical Gemini.

I have a love for writing, reading, chatting to people and an enquiring mind.  My friends would probably say that my mind is, on occasion, a tad too enquiring for their liking as they are gently probed for information.

If there is a subject that I am curious about, I will Google it and research it until I am satisfied, no matter the content. Without a doubt this has helped with the blog, as some of the most random conversations have led to me learning about the most diverse subjects and of course experiencing new situations.

My thirst for knowledge or processing certain information leads invariably to someone giving me advice, and over this year three pieces of advice have stuck in my mind.

The first piece of advice was when I made the decision to end my marriage. I believe that I have mentioned it before, but it was given to me by a very valued friend and really helped me focus on the decision that I was making without getting too anxious about the future.

She said; "Make the decision that feels right today. In this moment. Do not think about tomorrow, next week or next year, but just what is ok for you right now. You can change your mind tomorrow, it doesn't matter...it was right today."

This really helped as my husband left the family home, because although it was painful, there was something telling me that it was the right decision that day. I didn't know what the future held for us and I had no idea of where we would end up; but something had to give, as I knew I couldn't go on as I was.

Just seven months later it is still the right decision. Hard as it is to believe with a house of hobbits, the house is calmer and less toxic. We are not always as organised as we should be, my toilet is still lacking a seat, and there are certain jobs that I will avoid like the plague because it is harder doing it on your own.

However, this morning I look at my boys and know that although we won't always get it right and I won't probably win 'mother of the year' award, that we are doing the best we can...and I have happier hobbits than I had 9 months ago...and they have a happier hobbit mum.

The second piece of advice I want to share with you is something someone told me recently, with regards to all advice that we are given. So a piece of advice, about advice as it were.

"Everyone has an agenda. We shape our opinions on our own life experience and expectations. So no matter how well meaning people are and genuine, they will give us advice on what they know. So filter out what feels right for you and stay true to yourself"

Logical really, however we have a tendency to believe everything we are told as if someone else knows better than us. Which is why talking to several people about a problem or an issue is so important to me. I have many friends who are going through their own angst or dilemmas, and even I will base my advice on what has happened to me in the past. So to them I say, just take what you need...you will know what you need to do, and trust yourself and what feels right.

The last piece of advice was given to me this morning, via a hobbit.

Superman has a pencil that he was given by his teacher this week, for motivation I suspect and this morning he gave it to me and asked me to read what was written on the side;
'You can if you think you can!'

Simple really and I hope no one minds me sharing.

I will make the decisions that feel right in the moment, I will listen to others but always stay true to myself and I will endeavour to believe that I can.