The Great British Snog Off...

An argument has ensued this afternoon, over coffee and left over mince pies.

I am pleased to inform you that the date that S went on last night was a complete success...and she has even decided to get rid of the old guy in order to embrace the new...get in girl! The new guy is fun, really likes her and they spent the whole evening laughing. The old guy is now history, or certainly will be soon, all because he waited too long.

Alas the argument ensued between S and J when hearing about the details of the evening and the goodnight snog, and very quickly these two independent women became very defensive about their men's ability for the perfect snog.

"I'm sorry, but there is just no competition," says J defiantly. "Mine could win gold at the Olympics if indeed snogging was a category."
"Oh really?" I ask, "how can you be so sure?"
"Because of what it leads to," she says as if this is an appropriate answer.
"Pah, everyone is different." Says S, "everyone has a different technique. You can't say that he is the best when you don't know what mine can do. We only came up for a breather twice in two hours."

I look at them both sitting at the table discussing this and watching the competitiveness rising.
"You know what we need here? A snog off." They look at me as if I have gone mad. " I can judge, as I currently have no one to snog, however I will need to judge fairly so we need to think of a way of how to do that."
"Well, you should be the one to snog them...to be fair and equal." Says J.
"God, no..." I look at her in horror, "I need to create categories; length of snog; general technique; body language; response and whether or not there is any steam coming off you both at the end of it. Then you may need to swap partners to see the response then."
"You're on," they both say in unison. Both equally as determined to win, both equally feeling that their man is the best.

So we have the plan, the competition and even a prize, we just need to get the men to agree...