Motivational friends...

"I need some motivation" says my slightly hungover friend this morning over a cup of tea.
"Ok, I can do that...wassup?" I say plonking myself at her table.

She then proceeds to tell me, that like many other men and women she wants to lose weight. She wants to feel good in her skin again and buy a nice summer dress that she can feel amazing in.

So we sit and discuss how we can plan her diet, what things she likes, what she feels she can achieve...in order to make her feel like she has a plan of action. We then start looking at old photos...and I even show her an old one of me from about eighteen months ago so that she can see the difference.
"I did take some photos of me in my underwear," she tells me, "so that I could motivate myself."
"Great, where are they?"
"In my telephone."
"Cool, ok, what you can do is send them to your email address, print them off and put them with your  meal planner so that when you see them you can feel motivated at what you want to do." I am excited for her, "then add in a dress that you want to buy for the summer so that you can see a positive with it."

She likes this idea and passes me her telephone so that I can send the photos to her email for her, of which I proceed to do.

I send it...two photos of her standing in front of her mirror, with barely there underwear and a full bosom.

However...the email doesn't arrive....a dreadful feeling comes over me....

"How do you spell your surname again?" I ask, feeling a little trepidation. "With, or without an 'e'?"
"Without." She says passing me a cup of tea.
"Oh crap." I say and look at her guiltily.
"Oh god, what have you done?"
"Well, put it this way...don't be surprised if your photos start doing the round on the Internet."
She looks at me horrified, "No!!!!"
"I think...I may...have sent it to the wrong person." And then I do have the decency to look bad, just before we both burst out laughing. "Thankfully, you couldn't see your face."
"Well, that will be my motivation then...then if anyone sees it and then sees me all skinny, they will know it can't be me!"
"There you go then...I told you I could motivate you. I just didn't think I would do it in quite a public way!"

A few moments later the email comes back as undeliverable...thank god, so we resend it to the right email address and she goes to print it. It comes out as a tiny picture.
"I need to make it bigger," she says.
"Really?" I ask her.
"Yeah, you're right...I may not have enough ink!" She says laughing.

As she prints them off from her laptop, Spider-Man comes in and sees them, "oh, my eyes!" He exclaims and rushes off to tell his brothers.

I get the feeling that the hobbits and I should never attempt to be motivational speakers in any form...