That's Love...

Welcome everyone to my new game show and the Saturday edition of..."That's Love!...the new relationship game show..."

*Big round of live audience applause here* "with your host, Bob 'make or break' Smith."

"The game show where making the wrong decision can give you heart ache; an indecision, a week without sleep and the right decision an evening, or longer, with the man/woman of your dreams....are you ready to play?"

The atmosphere tenses in the studio while Bob produces his question cards.

"Ok ladies and gentleman, round one...the category is the third date and this is for contestant number one..." Pausing for effect Bob continues, "you and your new love interest have been on a couple of dates already; all has been going well but you have been finding it difficult to get them to actually take an interest in your life."

"Do you a) spend another evening listening to them discuss their life, work and previous conquests before they met you, or b) hijack the conversation and force them to listen to you talk about what your dreams are?"

Nervous contestant number one is reluctant to answer...
"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to push you here...clock is ticking..." Says Bob with a smile.
"Erm, oh god...errr....b...hijack the conversation!" They say without conviction...it is a tough call.

"Oh I am sorry contestant number one, that is the wrong answer...it is actually undisclosed answer c...dump them and move on... if they haven't bothered to ask about you and your dreams by date three they are not the person for you. You are out of the game."

Bob looks sadly at the audience, "Bad luck to contestant number one, but that's love eh? So, contestant number two your category is about the ex... *chorus of boo's from the live audience* this is your question..."

Contestant number two bites their nails furiously like they are about to be fed to the lions, which in effect they are.

"Your new current love interest talks about their ex all the time...whilst you have no issue with it at all, there comes a point when you really would rather talk about watching paint dry than hearing about how wonderful he was...so do you a) say nothing at all to keep the peace and hope that one day your new girlfriend will realise how inadequate this is making you feel, or b) mention this politely over a post coital cuppa that whilst you understand her need to keep their relationship amicable that she doesn't have to share every detail with you?"

"That's easy, b." says contestant number two confidently.
Bob grimaces, "oh I am sorry that is wrong, your partner has just thrown their tea over you and left with the chocolate digestives. The correct answer is c) hire a hitman to dispose of the ex while you share champagne and strawberries by a log fire."

Contestant number two is taken off by studio staff weeping into his sleeve.
"Oh, what a shame, but as we know everyone....That's Love!" the whole audience laughs.

"So to the final contestant, will you fair any better? The last category is about your sex life...there are two men in your life, one won't commit but makes you feel amazing in every way including...the bedroom, whilst the other one will commit and is 'nice', but absolutely terrible in the sack....what do you do?"

"Ok, Bob, I think I will play my That's Love joker card here..." Says contestant number three.
"Good call," says Bob, taking the 2ft joker card off the wall...."well number three, you played your joker card, and it says here don't make any decision, and see both of them until someone with the whole package comes along...well done, contestant number three you win!!!"

Massive round of applause as contestant number three is given his reward...a plastic breakable heart with a key in it.

"Thank you ladies and gents....tune in next week for another edition of....That's Love!!! The game show, where in reality..no one really wins...g'nite" *insert cheesy smile*