Inundated...

So it transpires that the rules of the dating game have changed...

I am not entirely sure when this occurred, or perhaps it has always been there and I just never noticed it before...but certainly I am now unclear of what the rules are.

The issue of trust has gone. It appears that it is ok to lie, to tell half truths and not disclose relevant information. I am learning this and I have to say it is the worse part of the dating game.

Are there any genuine men out there who are honest...completely? Not trying to play you or string you a line...the holy grail does not appear to exist I am afraid ladies...we might as well pack up and live in an all female commune right now.

The only thing Pootle and I have ever asked from a potential date or more was honesty. Online dating is weird enough as it is; it is perfectly acceptable to talk to more than person which is something I need to get my head around.

So consequently it is also acceptable to see more than one potential in a week, and filter out the ones that do or don't tick the boxes.

I confess I am a little old school. If I start talking to someone and they set off a glimmer of a spark, then I give that person my time. I don't go looking for someone else, I don't initiate other conversations...for me it would be like having four different men in the corners of the pub and making your way round them in turn.
"Ok, great to meet you - pause it right there, just got to talk to bigboy123 over by the slot machine. Sip your drink and bear with."

So I need to start realising that if someone is talking to me, that I am not the only one...that they have their options as well; and it is entirely possible that the other option they are talking to is ticking off more boxes than I am.

The thing is - that is ok. I am not naive and neither is Pootle. It is back to the issue of honesty and just being open.  Why is that so damn hard for people?

I once replied to a guy online who had messaged me and we got on well - however I too had someone else that I was meeting the following evening. So I told him. He was okay about it...he didn't get stroppy or angry with me; he understood.

As would we.

So be honest. Tell it like it is.

The other thing I am beginning to notice besides the lack of honesty, is the 'chat'. Why bother if you don't mean it, or indeed do have other options?

You know you don't have to make empty promises; it isn't necessary to tell me the things you think I want to hear, unless you actually bloody mean it. False hopes are hurtful, unnecessary and cruel, and christ I think most of us have been hurt enough by now.

The trouble with me is that I am actually quite nice. So consequently not only do I mean what I say and have the respect for people to be honest, that equally I am then the one who ends up getting played.

So, in conclusion what does one do? Build up the walls? Never trust anyone again? Or risk the whole thing again and be let down all over again?

Alas, I can not change inherently who I am. However I can change my 'dating profile'.

"Hi, if you have reached my profile then I am pleased to tell you that you have in effect, won the f**king lottery. I am Wonder Woman. I am one of the best people that you will ever meet and guess what? I am even acceptable in social circles and can adapt to different environments like a ninja.
If you think you can compare; indeed if you feel that you can match me in conversation, humour, sex appeal and actually would recognise the truth if it slapped in you in the face...then message me. I may not break down my walls, but I might open the letter box and see what you have to offer."

Pootle thinks I will be inundated with replies...