The meaning of life...

I have spent some time Googling love this afternoon; well, more specifically, 'What is love?'

I was not surprised to see that it was the most searched phrase on Google in 2012 and it was quite reassuring to see that I am not the only one with the urge to find out about the greatest emotion of all.

A big part of me also feels quite positive that this is the case: I mean the top search on Google could have been anything...
Why is David Cameron Prime Minister, (a mystery to many of us), what is the Bermuda Triangle, or indeed what is the meaning of life?

The dictionary refers to it as a general description; affection, attachment, sexual passion or desire, a profound emotion. However, this doesn't go anywhere near to explaining the power and the definition of love.

If there was a venn diagram of personality, attraction and sexuality and all of these circles were equally fulfilled, you would think surely it is only natural that love is the result?

No? Why? If everything is perfect, why does love not exist? Or, I hasten to say, the feelings behind falling in love?

Love has to be one of the most complicated emotions to describe as it is one of the few emotions that it is covered by a biological, psychological and philosophical response. All three of these need to be in place in order for us to feel like we are in love or that we love someone.

Then of course there are varying degrees of love.
According to a Dr Paulette Sherman in NY, there are 15 different types of love: Infatuation; romantic; eros; companionate; unconditional; conditional; puppy, maternal, paternal; soulmate; spiritual/divine; patriotic; brotherly; self and tough love.

Are you keeping up?
No wonder it is one of the most searched phrases, as actually thus far no one has been able to define it in one word...one sentence...so that we all know what it actually is; and no wonder it is such a hard thing to do...rather like the perfect conception.

There is so much involved, it is impossible to define why you love something or someone. We can describe how we unconditionally love our children, yet it is a feeling that is undefinable. From the moment they are born we know that we would lay our lives on the line for them; we would, possibly, even commit murder in order to protect them.

Yet, we know those feelings are irrational in any other part of our lives. Which shows you the power of what unconditional, paternal and maternal love is.

So what is love?

Biologically we release chemicals. I am not talking about lust, but the actual feelings of love produce pheromones, dopamine and serotonin to name a few. Psychologically we talk about self love - Aristotle discovered that in order to love we must first love ourselves; but also there is Eros love - a sexual passion that can burn out - and on occasion this can move on to a mature love, that gives us the sense of security or family attachments. Showing goodwill in long term relationships, commitment, compromise and understanding.

Then philosophically...I quote Julian Baggini, a philosopher and writer who describes it better than anything I have read... "At its best, however, all love is a kind, passionate commitment that we nurture and develop, even though it usually arrives in our lives unbidden. That's why it is more than just a powerful feeling. Without the commitment, it is mere infatuation. Without the passion, it is mere dedication. Without nurturing, even the best can wither and die."

So how and why do we fall in love?

I'm afraid to tell you I don't have an answer for you.
My role here is to ponder and wonder, and maybe provoke the same wondering in my reader. What I do feel after investigating this particular subject, is that love can feel different for everyone. We can not stay on the plane of Eros love; it may burn out or strengthen and move on to a more secure feeling. What feels right for a lifetime of happiness to one, may feel inadequate to another...nevertheless, we all experience it, feel it and need it in our lives.

Perhaps that is why 'what is love' is the highest searched phrase on Google, as maybe love is the meaning of life after all...