Black cross day...

There should be a black cross across our door this evening.

One by one the hobbits have fallen this week to a sickness bug, and last night Spider-Man succumbed to it with a vengeance. Starting about one this morning, and finally stopping mid morning today.

It is truly horrid to see your children unwell. They get scared and of course there is nothing you can do to stop the vomiting and the pain that comes with retching.

That may sound a little melodramatic and that is not my intention, but they look so vulnerable when they are ill.

By this evening he looks less peaky and the real Spider-Man is on the rise again, for what hopefully will be a sunnier weekend.

However in the last few hours, another problem has arisen...and alas Mummy is not now doing so well...having succumbed to the inevitable as well.

Wishing you all a healthier weekend...

Evening plans...

I am being taken out for dinner tonight.

I am rather looking forward to being wined and dined, with good company and hopefully a nice meal.

A friend has offered to take me out and spoil me a bit, away from the bustle of hobbits, Britain's Got Talent on the television and some adult conversation.

How could I refuse?

Have a good night all...catch you tomorrow. :-)

Nina Simone...

I have a secret friend.

He is pretty much unknown to many of my friends; they have never met him, never seen him...but he has been there for quite some time now.

He is my secret.
He is always there when I need him. He has, on more than one occasion called me without being aware that I needed to hear his voice, listen to his kindness and enjoyed his insatiable desire to flirt with me.

He is the man who I rarely see...but I know he is always there. Just in the wings...carrying on with his own life, as I do mine...but we catch up probably more often than people know.

He always believes in me. He has this complete and utter belief that I am lovely. (However in truth, it is him that is lovely,) he never throws me a rotten tomato and he empowers me in a gentle, unassuming way and once again I count myself lucky to have him as 'my friend'.

I wish you all knew him; but then if you did, he wouldn't be my secret friend anymore. He is intuitive and would look equally as good in a Fez as Suggs does, and I would still like him even if he was a nomad living under the stars or a goat herder.

He often checks in on me, making sure that I am not behaving myself but I am at least looking after myself. Tonight was much the same. A cheeky smiley emoticon and I know he is there...just checking up on me.
"Tell me about your day..." He asks most of the time, and he is genuinely interested.
"Good, very good," I reassure him... "In fact an excellent day today." I like telling him good news, he has been worried about me lately.

In fact...I feel like I have let him down lately. I have not been the person that he met all those years ago. I have been stressed, anxious and often been found to be metaphorically beating myself with a truncheon. However, things are changing and I don't feel that anymore.
It is great to say to him and to others, all is good...and mean it.

I told him this evening that I would blog about him...so he dared me to fit in certain words that meant something only to him...which I have done...it is a nice way to dedicate something to him.

Thank you for always being there my friend, and after too many years it is time we met for that drink again.

I had a very good day...things came into my life today that I didn't see coming yesterday.

So in the words of Nina Simone..."...and I'm feeling good."

Wine online...

J has been exposed to the beauty that is online food shopping.

She is ecstatic beyond belief. The experience has kept her busy for an hour or so now.

"This is fantastic," she says like a child, "I am never gonna step into a supermarket again. Why would I need to?"
"Well, you might need to buy milk one day. You can't order just milk."
"Oh my god, " she squeals, "I can get wine delivered."

She is in heaven...
"They are even recommending wine to me, how can I not buy it? They are actually recommending wine!" She says slyly.
"How on earth do they know you?"
"I don't know...but I am buying it, they said so...they recommended wine and Branston Beans."
"You my dear, are a marketing man's dream."
"I," she says, "am a classy bird. I am having my wine delivered to my door. To my door!" She is really that excited.
"Babe, it is Asda, not Harrods."
She glares at me, the only way J can, "I am having recommended wine delivered to my door. They will knock on my door..." She pauses...
"With wine," I finish. "In an Asda bag."
"Just because you're not classy, don't mock the rest of us who are."

I concede defeat, I am not classy...I can not compete with the classy friend who sits opposite me at my dining room table.

The most excited I get about my food shopping online experience is when I keep the bill under sixty quid...and no, I don't get wine delivered.

"Wine online," She mutters to herself smiling while paying her bill, "every week. To my door."

My classy friend is happy.

Morecambe & Wise...

Pootle and I are in bed. Watching a film and drinking tea.

This is quite normal after a few glasses of wine, however we are now doing this sober.

The boys are having a sleepover so it makes sense. We have become the Morecambe & Wise of our town. Sitting watching Bridesmaids (again), putting the world to rights (again) and discussing our itinerary of New York (again).

The itinerary is now finalised. We have set down exactly what we are doing and when, with some spare time to flirt with New Yorkers and hang round a few bars. We have been reliably informed that transatlantic men are among the finest, so we have high expectations.

Just eighteen sleeps to go for what aims to be one of the best experiences of our lives...we can not wait.

Enough said...

Times are a changing...

An excellent night of Poker and similar games was had last night. I am definitely enjoying being part of the 'dad' group, and I feel that I am finally beginning to hold my own in the game.

I also like the fact that there are no demands made from these guys; apart from laying or raising my bet. It is very chilled and the conversation is easy...

In fact someone reminded me yesterday that that really is how friendships and relationships should be. Of course there are occasions that as a friend you will need to support another, or even give an opinion that someone won't like; but essentially the relationship should be easy. Not demanding; not like trying to navigate your way through treacle and certainly not so emotionally draining that you have no energy to do the rest of the things that you love.

Easy. Like a Sunday morning.

There is also something about the joy of being single and I have given this a great deal of thought this week.
I actually like being single.
I like the fact that I make the rules; I see who I want to see and when; I don't have to answer to anyone else except my hobbits and my conscience; I make all the decisions.

How empowering is that?
I don't want to give that up...not yet and I don't want to give that up for anything less than easy. By making a commitment to a partner I would have to start considering someone else in the equation; and while I am more than capable of doing that and would even consider that I am someone who is quite generous with their time and friendship, choosing to have someone in my life on a permanent basis would mean giving up a large element of my independence.

I have realised that I am not ready for that and someone who walks in to my life would have to be pretty damn special in order for me to do that.

Like a Thunderbolt; but an easy one.

So it appears that I am veering off the path of looking for that one and I am genuinely looking forward to a different journey. I have come to a crossroads and would actually like to take the path of being single; having fun; going on dates without any commitment and being totally independent.

The times they are a changing...and I am happier about that far more than I realised I would be.