IKEA storage...

"I dream't I murdered someone last night," I say to Pootle over tea this morning.

"I don't know who, but I am fairly sure that there was a shot gun involved...and we had to all regroup at the local supermarket for our alibi."
She at least nods to show her interest...
"I wonder who it was? I just recall that we did it as a group and it was in the woods..." I sip my tea, desperately trying to remember who I killed..it is there in my mind, I just can't quite recall the memory, "it is always weird how some real life intrudes on a bizarre dream."

"I have dreams like that," Pootle finally says..."however sometimes I wonder later on in the day whether I really have killed someone. Do you?"
I cock my head at her, "no, not really...no."
She continues..."but then I realise I am in touch with most of my ex boyfriends, and they are still alive so I am fairly sure that I haven't actually killed anyone and buried them in the woods."
There are occasions that I truly worry about Pootle...

"Probably not a good thing to talk about on your first date this afternoon?" I suggest to her. Pootle is finally meeting D...first date nerves are abound.
"Oh god, I am getting nervous. I can't even think about eating."
"Ahh, and thus it starts..." I say.
"This is really hard isn't it? What if I don't like him? Or I like him and he doesn't like me? Or we both don't like each other?"
"Or, god forbid, you actually both like each other?"
"But when you think about it, that is such a slim chance isn't it? Of all the options, of all the chances that you will actually meet someone you like immediately..."
"True, but it can happen...look at D and J? You could meet him this afternoon, and it could be the start of something amazing...or just a bit of fun for a while, or absolutely nothing..."
"Scared." She says. "Nervous, feel sick."
"I know...but don't be scared of something that could be great. It doesn't matter if it doesn't work, it matters if it does...this could be your last first date. I will be left here with the cats and the IKEA storage facilities while you get taken off into the sunset..."
She looks even more scared...

However Pootle, you are warm, spontaneous, huggable, loveable, funny, intelligent and more than slightly quirky...just be you....and everything else will fall into place.

Good luck xxx

Sleeping on the edge...

Last night I slept in the middle of the bed for the first time.

It was a conscious decision. I haven't yet moved on to doing it without thinking, however I think this is a very clear step of me taking control of my life.

It felt a little odd, I have to confess...all this space either side of me, however I discovered that there is no dip in the middle of the bed, that you can do star shapes with ease and if you get too hot there is space the other side to cool down with.

What else can I tell you about my new experience? Ah....the different views of the room. Always worthwhile getting a different perspective on how the room looks...it certainly looks bigger from the middle of the bed, however I can also see where I need to repaint which won't do at all.

I suppose all new experiences are bound to have a negative side to them as well. Isn't that what makes  us decide whether or not the positives out weigh the negatives?

Hmmm...I am not sure if I like being in the middle of the bed as there is a part of me that makes me feel that it is an even lonelier experience, so sleeping on the edge makes me feel less alone.

Like everyone, I quite like cuddling up to someone and on this occasion for once I am not talking about hobbits, although their cuddles have to be about the best thing on tap that I have. No, I am actually talking about the warmth of someone else...someone who you can share the bed with, roll in it with, stay in the middle with...jump up and down with...or share breakfast with...

...so until I find that... I shall continue to sleep on the edge, where I fit just perfectly...for now. 

Saturdays...

Ok, how is it that I go from very little to blog...to an abundance of blog material in one day?

I feel like I need a deep breath before I start tonight's blog...

Pootle and I are drinking wine, this is fatal on its own and we have already run out...twice.

"Shall I go and get more?" I ask struggling to pull my boots on.
"I think so...do you want to take the bottle so you know which one to get?" She says waving an empty bottle at me.
"No, I'll find it." I look at her, hoping that she will stay still. "Do you think I am too drunk to drive?"
Pootle wanders over to me and shoves my shoulder, I wobble like a weeble for a wee moment then start laughing.
"Yes. You failed the test...you have to walk."

So I stagger to the supermarket for supplies. While I am walking I can't help but think about some advice someone gave me today. In fact that there have been several things today that came into my life, that I felt would make a blog...And because I can not blog about them all, or indeed explain every conversation I am going to bulletin point my thoughts and opinion...feel free to join in.

1) You can never either be too old for stockings, or been married for too long to wear them. Why would you presume that you are past all that just because you have been married for a few years? No, no, no...please I implore you. Enjoy wearing them for the way they make you feel, not necessarily for anyone else...although a little bit of teasing goes a long way.

2) I would like to say thank you to the person who emotionally informed me today; That he savours every day after what he has been through. That he genuinely notices what is happening around him, recognises that today is a different day and makes the most of it. He knows that anything truly can change in an instant...so he doesn't waste a moment....none of us should.

3) I realised that in just four weeks time, I will have my first real holiday in 13 years. We worked this out carefully...and now I am even more excited than I was yesterday.

4) For my friend who is scared to commit...no shit Sherlock? Really? We all are...but hey I am trying to live by number two, so you should too...take the step, live each day and enjoy...what have you got to lose? It isn't who you want to spend Friday night with...it is who you want to spend all day Saturday with...good luck.

Hello Dave...

I confess I have been in bed for the last 36 hours...more or less.

Alas, it wasn't a marathon sex session (although there was a lot of sweating), but the fever was accompanied with some coughing, spluttering and sneezing...attractive I wasn't.

"I think I may have SARS." I say to Pootle via text... "Please make sure you tell the children I love them, and you can have my DVD's if I die."
"Do you think you are maybe embracing the man role a little bit too much?" She replies, without a trace of sarcasm.
"Am I not dying then?"
"Nope, you have a cold....suck it up, sweat it out...drink juice and get up and shower."

Harsh...but true...so it appears that a cure for the common cold is; Lemsip, Sleep, Shower and Hugh Jackman in Australia....

Pootle and I have sniffed our way through the emotional parts, watched Hugh get sweaty in the outback and perved over the bits where Hugh gets wet in the rain...corrrrr!!!!

So apart from a rotten cold, things are good...nothing much is happening really, eh Pootle?  Apart from a morning in court listening to two men discussing their latest knife victim; a cute lawyer with a comb over and the new catchphrase... 'Hello Dave..."

I really can't explain...it would take too long and to be honest it is probably safer that you don't know...

No numpties please...

Life, it turns out, can be a pathway of missed opportunities...

Don't they say, expect the unexpected?

I have finally closed my Internet dating profile and we have now introduced Pootle to the world once again. I have to confess there is a part of me that is sad, but only purely for the entertainment value that is in them.

As I attempt for the third time to fix Pootle's laptop she plays with her new profile and messages on my iPad...
"Ooh, I have a message...from Fat Boy!" She says in a less than excited tone.
"Is he really called Fat Boy? Hardly going to pull the girls with that is he?"
"No, I called him that...look..." And she shows me fat boy's profile.
"Oh...I see where you are coming from."
"Why do I get the guys who can't speak English, are fugly or look like Shrek?" She asks in a pained tone.
"We all get them...you just have to filter them out. I always get the old guys." I tell her dismissively. "The eighty five year olds with no teeth..."
She looks at me seriously, "that's cos you is old."

Ah, boosting my self esteem once again...to be fair I did once tell her that she looked like one of those doll trolls, so I deserve what I get really.

I show her my profile before we action the delete button..."see?" I reassure, "I get the same. You just have to remember that it is like sifting through sand, you may just a find a golden grain...or at least one who can spell would be a start!"

So here we are again, deleting the ones who can only say Hi...rushing past the photos of blokes in mirrored reflections, who have no information on their profile...and those who don't know the difference between their/there or your and you're....no numpties for Pootle if you please.

We have set her a little challenge...thirty dates before her next birthday. Which thankfully is in December, anything earlier would be a tall order the way she is deleting them from her message bank.

Nevertheless, she is at least looking and is attempting the chat...trying this relationship malarkey back on again...which is an improvement.

So in the words of Thunderbirds....Pootle is go!

Get cracking...

Well we knew the mojo wouldn't stay hidden for long?

I have made lists with sub headings today; cleansed the house (yes cleansed courtesy of Pootle); cleaned the hobbits rooms (shudders); Superman discovered a love for the Opera and I have started writing....all good here.

We visited a local musical and arts festival this morning to watch Pootle's hobbit dance, back flip and get on down to some serious music...it was all I could do to stop myself from joining in. However, a middle aged woman attempting to do a back flip is not a pretty sight...even if the Red Cross were on hand...

Local music bands and artists were singing, which is where Superman discovered a new passion. The last thing I thought he would be interested in was a young woman singing opera, however he was insistent. She sang a piece from Madame Butterfly...and it was quite lovely watching him gripped,   watching her intensely and almost spellbound. Hobbits still have the ability to surprise me.

So I am back on track. Five more weeks to finish the list...better get cracking eh?

Pootle and me...

My relationship with Pootle summed up by Bree...